‘You can’t just start feeling again’

It takes troops time to shed the emotional armor that helps them survive the chaos of a war zone

STORY SUMMARY »

In a combat zone, soldiers are conditioned to stay alert at all times, react instantly and suppress their softer side. That helps keep them alive and doing their jobs. But when they return to the home front, behavior like that can land them in trouble.

"You almost have to become like a porcupine when you're over there," said National Guardsman Patrick Campbell. "When you come home, those sharp edges don't mix well with civilian society. No one can really get close to you. You're constantly working on not letting things bother you."

Nearly half of National Guard members and 38 percent of active-duty soldiers reported psychological symptoms three to six months after returning from Iraq and Afghanistan, according to the most recent nationwide data.

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Sgt. 1st Class James Sczymanski of the Hawaii National Guard was on his way to duty in Iraq when his first grandchild was born, but he got back in time to go to Kaipo'i's "baby luau."

Part 1: Soldiers' silent war Part 2: On the edge of panic Part 3: 'You can't just start feeling again'

As family and friends gathered for the traditional first-birthday celebration last year, they noticed that the returning warrior didn't seem quite himself. On guard duty in Balad, Iraq, Sczymanski constantly scanned crowds, on the lookout for trouble. At the party he was doing the same thing.

"My brother-in-law said, 'Are you OK? You just don't look right in the eyes. You look pretty wild,'" recalled Sczymanski, 45. "I hadn't even realized it. My eyes were all over the place all the time."

Shifting gears from combat to ordinary life isn't easy. Behaviors that helped keep soldiers alive in a war zone can get them in trouble at home. Instead of the "drive with aloha" style he'd grown up with in the islands, Sczymanski learned to "blow and go" in Iraq -- hitting the accelerator and ignoring stoplights, to help avoid ambush.

He also had to learn new ways to navigate on the domestic front, although he and his wife, Tanya, have been married 25 years and have known each other since their days at Kaiser High.

"You can't snap at your family like you've got to do with the troops," said the husky former welder. "You have to find a whole new way to express yourself. Over there, you want to get your point across quick. If I was snappy up there, the troops would stay on their toes a little more."

How To Get Help » www.behavioralhealth.army.mil A one-stop shop for soldiers and their family members on issues related to behavioral and mental health. » www.vetcenter.va.gov Vet Centers provide veterans and their families with counseling and benefits assistance at no cost in a private, confidential setting. Vet Centers in Hawaii: Honolulu: 973-8387 (973-VETS) Kauai: 246-1163 Maui: 242-8557 Hilo: 969-3833 Kona: 329-0574 » www.guardfamily.org Hawaii National Guard has several Family Assistance Centers offering confidential counseling, intervention, information and referral: Oahu: 753-7124 Big Island: 933-0921 Maui County: 873-3553 Kauai: 335-8420 State Program Office: 672-1442 » www.arfp.org This Web site highlights Army Reserve Family Programs. » www.dvbic.org The Defense and Veterans Brain Injury Center is a patient-care, clinical research and educational center. » www.militaryonesource.com Military One Source offers information, advice and support to soldiers and their families on a wide range of everyday issues. 1 (800) 342-9647 » www.ncptsd.va.gov The Web site of the National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder includes fact sheets, videos and training on combat stress and PTSD. » www.va.gov/hawaii The Department of Veterans Affairs provides federal benefits to veterans and dependents. Contact the Hawaii state veterans benefits advisor at 735-8205. The VA Pacific Islands Health Care System includes the Spark Matsunaga VA Medical Center (433-0600) and community-based outpatient clinics on the Big Island, Maui and Kauai. » www.dod.state.hi.us/ovs State Office of Veterans Services helps veterans obtain state and federal entitlements and offers support in adjusting to civilian life. 433-0600

Since Sept. 11, 2001, more than 3,500 National Guard troops from Hawaii have been deployed to Iraq and Afghanistan, along with reservists and active-duty soldiers. The only Hawaii Army Guard units that have not deployed are the band and firefighters, said Capt. Jeffrey Hickman, a spokesman for the Guard. When they come back, they and their families often need help adjusting.

Nationwide, 49 percent of National Guard members and 38 percent of active-duty soldiers reported psychological symptoms three to six months after returning from combat, according to the Department of Defense Task Force on Mental Health. The information came from post-deployment health reassessments forms filled out in 2007.

Symptoms include issues like sleeplessness and irritability, and do not imply a mental disorder. But they do indicate widespread adjustment concerns, especially for those returning to civilian life who have to make it on their own.

Soldiers are conditioned to remain vigilant, react instantaneously and suppress their softer side while on duty, said Dr. Kenneth Hirsch, manager of the Traumatic Stress Disorders Program for the Spark Matsunaga VA Medical Center. That can leave an imprint that is hard to erase.

"If you're startled there, if you see something that represents a warning sign, you have to react quickly and strongly, or you're dead," Hirsch said.

Soldiers can have trouble shedding their emotional armor after they come home, an armor that helped them cope with a war zone.

"If you see people getting killed or your buddies getting killed, you see innocent children getting killed, that has an emotional effect on you," Hirsch said. "In order to keep functioning in that environment, you have to turn off those emotions because otherwise, how are you going to fight if you feel like bursting into tears?"

"For 12, 16, 18 months, the only feeling allowed is a little fear, to which you adapt with anger, adrenaline," he said. "You come back, and what happens is you can't just start feeling again. So you are emotionally distant from people that mean the most to you, or you are completely numb emotionally other than rage or anger."

Lt. Col. Laura Wheeler, State Family Program director for the Hawaii National Guard, spent a year in Iraq, shuttling from base to base, counseling troops. It was a tough time. During her rotation, 18 National Guard members from the 29th Brigade Combat Team were killed.

"We never come back the same," said Wheeler, who grew up on the Big Island. "We all change."

Some soldiers grow from their experiences in combat, and others manage the transition just fine, she said, but behavioral issues can emerge for some others over time.

"What I'm seeing is post-six months, post-one year, problems start to surface," Wheeler said. "Somebody is trying to be very resilient, but then, boom, there is more stress over time. There's increased irritability, lack of tolerance with family members and civilians, intimacy issues, difficulty communicating."

Patrick Campbell, another National Guard member who is now legislative director for the Iraq and Afghanistan Veterans of America, describes his experience this way: "You almost have to become like a porcupine when you're over there," he said. "When you come home, those sharp edges don't mix well with civilian society. No one can really get close to you. You're constantly working on not letting things bother you."

In their first year after returning from Iraq, 35 percent of soldiers used military mental health services, according to a study published last year in the Journal of the American Medical Association.

Campbell got counseling from the local Vet Center, which offers free, confidential counseling to combat veterans. He was pushed into it by a friend who threatened not to speak to him again if he did not go get help. In Hawaii five Vet Centers provide "help without hassle" in an informal atmosphere, separate from the VA medical system.

"People can walk in off the street and just talk to us," said Stephen Molnar, director of the Honolulu Vet Center and a veteran himself, like most of his staff. "We stay away from the diagnostic labeling. We want to talk to the vet on the same plane."

Vet Centers have a homey ambience, with comfortable furniture and memorabilia on the shelves. There are no white coats or imposing titles on the doors, although the staff is mental health professionals. The centers help veterans figure out and get the benefits they deserve, and offer employment assistance. But mostly they provide someone to talk to, someone who has been there, too.

"When you are in war, you see or participate in horrible things that you may not want to share with anyone else," Molnar said. "The first thing is to make that connection with a human being who's not going to reject you, not going to judge you. It's amazing how much that load just goes away."

Counselors said sleep disruption is a big problem for soldiers who have been on alert 24/7 and have to train their body and mind to relax again. Short fuses are another common problem.

By The Numbers 35% Percentage of Iraq war veterans who used mental health services in the year after returning home. Percentage of soldiers who reported psychological symptoms three to six months after returning from Iraq and Afghanistan: 49% National Guard 38% Active-duty Source: Department of Defense Task Force on Mental Health, 2007; Journal of the American Medical Association, March 1, 2006

"A returning soldier will tell me his kid is driving him nuts -- because he doesn't respond to an order within 30 seconds," said Jack Marshall, a clinical social worker. "I have to remind them, he's a 4-year-old, he's not your lance corporal."

Sczymanski, who got to know Wheeler while deployed with the 29th Infantry Support Battalion in Iraq, has stayed in touch ever since. "She helps me out whenever I have rough periods," he said. He and his wife, Tanya, also took advantage of the free marriage enrichment retreats offered by the Guard, including two nights at a local hotel.

"All married couples and even if you're not married, if you're in a long-term relationship, you should go to it," he said. "We were gone 16 months. It was great just to get away to Waikiki, just to reconnect."

The National Center for Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, a VA organization, also is trying new approaches to reach people, including a comic book and a Web portal that will allow veterans to seek help from the privacy of their homes.

"What we're doing is reaching out to the people who refuse to come in," said Julia Whealin, who oversees education for the Honolulu center, one of seven across the country. "People who wouldn't come to a mental health clinic, or people whose symptoms are not bad."

The Web site will offer online workshops on dealing with problems such as sleep disorders, anger, stress and relationship conflict, and help users understand whether they need care from a professional.

Sczymanski has some advice for fellow veterans who might be too cool to admit they need a hand. "Don't be 'tantaran,'" he said, using the pidgin term for overly proud. "Go get help."