DAVID SWANN / DSWANN@STARBULLETIN.COM

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Dangers online

Keeping kids safe means
parents must keep watch

An old man's youth can instantly be restored, a bored housewife can be transformed into a supermodel and kids can mature overnight. Anonymity is one of the Internet's main attractions. But according to experts, it is anonymity that parents need to be concerned about.

Safety measures "Protecting Children from Internet Dangers": Seminar: 2 to 3 p.m. Saturday Place: Supergeeks in Kapolei. Seminars alternate monthly between Kapolei and Nuuanu YMCA locations. Admission: Free Call: 942-0773

Hidden behind screen names, pedophiles and other sexual predators can use the Internet to gain access to children. The most common means are chat rooms, instant messages and e-mail.

"Today, when kids get online, their neighborhood is the entire world," said James Kerr, president of SuperGeeks, a computer repair company.

"Bad guys gravitate to the Internet because they can reach a ton of people, reach them inexpensively and remain anonymous. Predators in chat rooms can conceal their identity and prey on kids."

Kerr offers free monthly talks on protecting children from the dangers of the Internet. "It's a situation that parents are ill equipped to handle," he said.

A 2004 survey of Internet use among children found that 44 percent of children have felt sexually harassed on the Internet; 28 percent had visited pornographic sites and 50 percent use the Internet alone.

Hate sites, crime solicitation and spam are other issues of concern, Kerr said. "Children are real trusting and don't have a sense of suspicion."

Many parents are walking a fine line when it comes to safe online access. They want to be responsible but don't want to risk alienating their child by blocking them from activities their friends enjoy. Especially when the activities seem harmless.

Angela Pe'a monitors her 13-year-old daughter's online activities, although that can be difficult, considering her daughter has her own log-in for the family computer. That makes it harder to track the Web sites she visits, Pe'a said.

"We've talked about what she should and shouldn't be doing on the Internet, and I think she is making the right decisions. I trust her."

Nonetheless, Pe'a acknowledged that her daughter spends a lot of time on the Internet between 3 and 5 p.m., when she is home alone. She also created her own Web page at myspace.com, a site supposedly limited to people over 18.

"My sister and I checked out the site, and there were some pretty inappropriate pages there ... girls in thongs and topless," Pe'a said. Many entries include blogs and personal information.

Fortunately, her daughter's page was OK. Still, Pe'a is concerned about how underage kids are setting up sites.

"The biggest fear of any parent is face-to-face encounters. You always hear about people meeting on the Internet and hooking up," she said.

Jody Lovett, a teacher at Hawaii Baptist Academy, also asks a lot of questions about her 14-year-old daughter Brianna's activities on the computer. "She is not allowed in chat rooms. She uses the computer mainly to keep in talk to her old friends in Michigan," Lovett said.

"Our computer has always been located in a communal area of the home," she explained. Her children never use the computer unsupervised.

"Even if your kids are good, they can be exposed to material you want them to avoid," she said. "There is always a temptation to explore things further. It's human nature."

Even inadvertently, a child could stumble on inappropriate material. Lovett herself has stumbled onto pornographic sites while doing research.

But children can also bring trouble on themselves. "Sometimes the children who claim to be victims are not totally innocent," Lt. Jeff Richards of the Honolulu Police Department said.

Kids might be creating different personas for themselves for use anonymously on the Internet, Richards said. "They get very bold and mouthy." This could lead them to a pervert or someone equally dangerous.

"A 15-year-old surfer from Kailua could be an old geezer from anywhere," he cautioned.

Richards encourages parents to bring their children to the police station for an interview when they run into trouble such as cyberbullying online. "We try to get the whole story."

Detective Chris Duque agrees. "When kids are online, they face various types of risks. They lack life experiences to make choices that benefit them."

The key is education and supervision, now that many kids pick up keyboard skills as early as first grade, Duque said. Kids can connect to the Internet on cell phones. Soon, the new PlayStation Portable will afford the same easy access.

Duque suggested turning off the computer when it is not in use and disconnecting the Internet cable so that outsiders cannot gain remote access. "It is better to be safe than sorry."

Condition kids to be cautious and not give out personal information. Online identity theft occurs more often with children than adults, he said. "Kids are not savvy about the trickery that scam artists use."

The answer is not to remove the computer, Duque cautions. It is much more productive to allow children to use the computer, but communicate with them about potential dangers.

"Attack the behavior, not the technology."

Awareness is the key that Kerr preaches in his free classes.

Define what is considered appropriate online behavior, he said. "Parents need to establish a set of rules that are fair. It is best to write it down, like a family contract. If the rules are broken, there are consequences."

As a safeguard, Kerr said, consider software that filters out inappropriate material. Kid-safe browsers are also available online, among them Yahooligans, Crayon Crawler or Kidsafe Explorer. A child's time online can also be budgeted, he said.

"Most kids know more about the computer and Internet than their parents do. It's hard for parents to keep up."

He also suggests placing the computer in a public space. "Parents can casually walk by and see what is happening on the screen. It's not being nosy ... it is being concerned. It is just like watching a child on the playground."

The ideal is to ensure that a child is well protected without compromising the privilege to hop online, Kerr said. "Computers are a part of everyday life. We need to learn to use them wisely."