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Dating choice
should not rely
on a menu

I was excited to be invited out to dinner recently by an adorable guy with some boyfriend potential. As usual, after spending hours analyzing what our children would look like, I mulled over my possible outfit choices with my girlfriends, receiving the usual advice: "Wear the skirt that makes your butt look cute," and so on.

However, when I gushed about my date to my younger brother, he offered some unexpected wisdom: "Whatever you do, don't order a salad. Guys hate that."

Huh? Guys don't like women who eat healthy?

My brother rolled his eyes and said: "Healthy, sure, but when you take someone out to dinner and all they order is a little salad? That is totally unattractive. It means that this is a high-maintenance, constantly-on-a-diet type of woman."

Hmmmph. This is entirely against the advice given to Scarlett O'Hara in "Gone with the Wind." Her nanny told her to eat a lot before the barbecue so as not to make a pig of herself in front of gentlemen.

Researching further, I discovered a lot of guys agreed, "It's no fun to date someone who doesn't enjoy food."

So if I order cheese fries and a steak, this would be refreshing and indicate that I'm a fun person to hang out with? Males polled answered with a resounding, "Yeah!"

What if I ordered a steak salad? Is that good?

The responses were much less enthusiastic: "I guess that's all right."

I ENJOY FOOD. I consider myself fun. I also order salads at restaurants. I'm now almost embarrassed to admit that I usually ask for a salad with dressing on the side when I'm on a first date. Sorry, I get a little nervous.

So if I order a salad for dinner, does this label me as a serial dieter who can't enjoy food? Wait a minute! Am I a serial dieter who doesn't enjoy food? Ack!

I found myself stuck in between several issues:

» Guys might not like women who order salads because this indicates they will be unable to relax and enjoy nachos at a bar somewhere down the line in the relationship.

» Guys might prefer skinny women who eat like birds and project a feminine sort of image that boosts their masculinity and all that testosterone stuff.

» I like to order salads at restaurants, which could scare off potential dates OR attract more dates, depending on which theory you choose to believe. I also want to retain the right to order my salad but date a guy who would be just as happy if I ordered a large pizza all for myself. Can I have my cake and eat it, too, but preferably not in front of him on the first date?

I asked my roomie for advice. She said, "Just order what you want and forget about it."

Oh sure, make it sound simple.

She laughed and said, "Don't start out acting like someone you aren't. You'll have to keep up the act forever if you end up liking the guy!"

I think she had it right, just order what you want. If you're a salad girl or a three-course steak dinner type, he might as well accept it from the start.

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