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GEORGE F. LEE / GLEE@STARBULLETIN.COM Kailua residents, military personnel and their dependents gathered last night at the Kailua Assembly of God Church and prayed for the Marines who were killed yesterday in Iraq.

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Isle military
families seized
by uncertainty

Encounters near the base
are met with anxiety
while the dead are unknown

Kelly O'Connor, the wife of a military officer, watched her three small daughters skip, laugh and balance on the edge of a huge concrete planter in Aikahi Park Shopping Center early yesterday afternoon.

"Life is so fragile," said O'Connor, watching her daughters with an unwavering gaze. "Life is there one minute, and it can be taken away the next."

O'Connor, whose husband came home from his tour in Iraq last September, shook her head sadly and said, "I'm sure that I know someone who lost her husband today."

O'Connor said she and other military families awoke yesterday morning to the news of the helicopter crash in Iraq that took the lives of 31 people.

"At first we heard they were from (Camp) Pendleton (in California), and we were all a little relieved. But by noon the news changed. And this is a small base. News travels fast."

O'Connor heard from a friend before noon that most of the dead were from the base. She said she shrank inwardly, not wanting to meet or talk to anyone else from the base until the families could "be properly told."

"You don't want anyone to find out through gossip, hearsay or panic," she said.

O'Connor said that once word spreads that the dead are their own, "your life just stops, and you get on the phone and you just call and call and call until you find out about your spouse."

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ASSOCIATED PRESS Leroy Hernandez, with wife Evelyn, held a photo of his son Lance Cpl. Tony Hernandez yesterday at his home in Canyon Lake, Texas. The Marine was one of 31 service members killed when a military transport helicopter crashed in Iraq yesterday.

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About noon, two soldiers who recently served in Iraq and are waiting for their next call to duty sat at the Muddy Waters coffee shop in the Kailua shopping center near the base. The two, who declined to identify themselves, showed anger and sorrow as they sat at an outdoor plastic table working their cell phones to get friends and information.

"We're not saying anything until the families are notified. That's the right way," said one, who wore a black glove over his right hand, which was badly burned in Iraq and shows scars above the wrist. "Those were our guys. OUR GUYS. They were our friends."

The Pentagon informed the Hawaii congressional delegation before noon EST, and by early afternoon the news was filtering to Kaneohe.

"This is war and what we are trained for," said a Marine who declined to give his name or rank as he shopped in Safeway with his wife.

"Accidents happen in war. War is war. I'm sure the pilot did his best," the man said, adding: "The bottom line is everyone tries to come back alive. The bottom line is that everyone is defending their country."

His wife, who also declined to give her name but recently finished her time in the military, said, "We're defending somebody else's country, and I am glad I am out."

Her husband, who is in line for another tour, scoffed.

"Despite what you think of the war, you have to support the troops who are over there," she answered.

Her husband said, "People need to support them because when you're there and somebody's shooting at you, you don't take or have the time to think why you're there, or you are dead."

O'Connor, the Navy officer's wife with the three daughters, said: "Whenever you hear of anything happening over there, it takes you to the time when your husband was there. And this is just life in the military."

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Hawaii Voices Compiled by Star-Bulletin reporter Leila Fujimori at the Aikahi Park Shopping Center in Kailua. "When it happens to Marines from this base, it's scarier. That could have been me." Anthony Pariso: Former Marine, 22, discharged Jan. 6 "It's just hard to believe that something like this could happen. That's close. That's our back yard." Fred Hilliard: Retired Kalaheo High School counselor, 66 "It's so sad. It shouldn't have happened like that." Fumiko Cox: Wife of Marine stationed at Kaneohe, 41 "It's terrible. ... They should pull out and bring them back home. There's too many people dying." Ellena Huffman: Wife of Navy man stationed at Kaneohe, 40 "It's very upsetting that we've lost more of our brothers in arms. I just pray for their families." Kerry Smith: Marine captain stationed at Kaneohe, 33 "That's the biggest loss our community has taken." Christopher Bateman: Navy Lt. j.g. stationed at Kaneohe, 28