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Family is first
for Palakiko
The Kahaluu father makes sure
his sons get his close attention
To James "Kimo" Cooke Palakiko Jr., family is everything.
It's why he throws his energies into spending time with his three young sons and wife of 15 years, supporting them wholeheartedly in all that they do and volunteering endlessly.
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Whether it's fund raising to send his oldest boy to the national 2005 Boy Scout Jamboree or helping families of deployed soldiers as a volunteer with the Hawaii National Guard family support group, Palakiko gives his all. All 400 pounds of him.
Those around him can't help but be swept up in his enthusiasm. "He's such a wonderful person; his heart is as big as his body," said Jo Anne Yamamoto, former head family volunteer for the Hawaii National Guard family readiness group.
Kids are drawn to him because "he's like a kid at heart," Yamamoto said.
The only boy of four children born to James Cooke Palakiko Sr. and Elizabeth Kailihiwa Manning, Palakiko, 41, grew up at Kuhio Park Terrace where he sheepishly admits he was no Boy Scout.
Growing up in KPT -- the family moved there in 1965 -- there were no structured activities for children. "We go out -- come home," he said.
A scoutmaster tried to form a group at KPT once, but his car got stolen the first day he came and he never came back. Despite the lack of social activities, Palakiko says he basically turned out OK.
Both his parents were custodians at Kalihi schools. His father often worked two jobs to put food on the table and clothes on his children's backs.
The Palakikos showed their children that even if they worked a lot, they could still be around for them and took time off to attend their school activities. "Everything focused around school and us," Palakiko recalled.
He married his college sweetheart, Arlene, also from Kalihi, and they started a family. Palakiko was enjoying his career as a licensed practical nurse for a dialysis center and making good money, but pulling 16-hour days, six to seven days a week.
When he wasn't home for Christmas for the second year in a row because of work, he and his wife had an enlightened talk and decided he wasn't going to miss out anymore on his boys growing up.
Now when it comes to his kids, "whatever they need or things for them to do to make their life more enhanced is important and priority," he said.
Take Scouting. "We didn't know what it was about, but Micah was excited and if my sons want to go, we support them the best we can."
In Cub Scouts, parents are more hands-on, as Palakiko learned. So he learned to tie knots, build cooking fires from pine needles and sticks and lash down tarps for makeshift shelters along with the rest of the pack.
His sons share his enthusiasm. Micah, 12, Matthew, 11, and Mark, 9, say they enjoy Scouting, especially camping out. The highlight is their dad's cooking on the last day of camp when Palakiko whips up a fried rice special for breakfast using any uneaten leftovers.
Their interests keep the family constantly on the go. There's Scouting meetings and projects practically every week and on the weekend, in addition to school service projects. Palakiko is immersed in every level of Scouting -- from being an assistant cubmaster for Pack 117 to serving as troop committee chairman for the 2005 Boy Scout Jamboree -- a national gathering of Scouts in Caroline County, Va.
He and his wife, also 41, both work for the state courts: He's a concierge at Circuit Court and she works at the new Kaneohe District Court.
On the side, Palakiko is a steward for the Hawaii Government Employees Association, he helps administer the Hawaii bar exam and waves signs for his mayoral candidate.
The main goal with any activity, Palakiko says, is to have fun and to be able to do things as a family.
Last year, while caring for his father, who is in the advanced stages of Alzheimer's, Palakiko suffered two heart attacks that hospitalized him for a week each time. It didn't slow him down.
Rather than make him feel more vulnerable, "I felt I better hurry up and get stuff done before the final one comes and really puts me down," he said.
He credits his wife, who is also in the Air National Guard, for keeping him from stretching himself too thin and reminding him that they need family time. If she tells him she's had a bad day and he has a meeting to attend that evening, he'll forgo it to be with her. They take turns taking the boys to their various activities or work overtime to help pay for their activities.
Most times, quality time as a couple comes after 10 p.m. when the boys are asleep. Palakiko helps his wife make leis for upcoming graduation parties while they catch up on each other's day or resolve any situations that arise. Or they'll watch TV or sneak away to catch a late movie at the theaters.
He smiles as he talks about the joy he gets from doing things with his family. "When they're older and have their own families, I can always go back to being a nurse and making more money," he said. "But I can never get back the years that I would miss and all the activities I do with them if I was busy making money and not being with them."