’Net Junkie
Magnets, tape and
you’re good to go foreverThey laughed at Thomas Edison, scoffed at Nikola Tesla and scorned Albert Einstein. Now, says inventor Alex Chiu, the skeptics have made him the object of their ridicule. You see, Chiu believes he's discovered the secret to immortality and if you can believe it, all that's needed to achieve this grand, god-like state, is a trip to the neighborhood hardware store.
Alex Chiu's Immortality Device, U.S. Patent number 5,989,178, can be produced from a few inexpensive everyday objects. Both the magnetic pinkie ring and its deluxe version, the magnetic foot brace, he claims, will keep you alive long after your contemporaries have passed on. Just type www.alexchiu.com in your address bar and you, too, could be on your way to everlasting life.
Among Chiu's amazing claims is his devices' ability to cure wounds, scars and physical handicaps. He also says they fight bacteria, aid in weight loss and lower blood pressure and cholesterol levels. "The Eternal Life Rings and the Eternal Life Foot Braces invented by Alex Chiu are believed to allow humans to stay physically young forever or turn humans younger (our lawyer told us to use the word 'believe')," reads Chiu's incredible online statement. "And cure various diseases and handicaps as long as you wear the rings or foot braces every night during sleep."
The rings are ridiculously simple, consisting of two small magnets and some wrapping tape, which allow large amounts of energy to flow throughout the body. If they don't work, his magnetic foot brace is supposedly three times as powerful. It's fashioned from eight two-inch by one-inch by one half-inch magnets, nails and duct tape.
For a fee, Chiu will send you two rings or build you a pair of foot braces.
I don't know what I find harder to swallow -- Chiu's claims or the notion that he actually believes in them. He seems convinced enough to have earned features in the Weekly World News and Comedy Central's "The Daily Show."
To allay skeptics' concerns, Chiu offers a money back guarantee with each purchase. "Once you wear them, you will want to wear them for the rest of your life," he affirms on his Web page.
If he's right, you could be sporting the darn things for all eternity.
’Net Junkie drops every Monday.
Contact Shawn "Speedy" Lopes at slopes@starbulletin.com.
Note: Web sites mentioned in this column were active at time of publication. The Honolulu Star-Bulletin neither endorses nor is responsible for their contents.
