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Do YOU have what it takes to be an Aquacadet? Recruiting will begin tonight in the hallowed confines of World Cafe, as Southern California's "average Joe" superheroes, The Aquabats, take the stage with all the fury and goofiness six costumed men (and one robot) can muster. The Aquabats fight for
justice and good punkBy Gary C. W. Chun
gchun@starbulletin.comIf you're inspired to stand with these semi-mighty men in their fight against music mediocrity, count yourself as a proud Aquacadet!
"It's basically anyone who wants to pick up a stick and join us," the group's titular leader, M.C. Bat Commander (a k a Christian Jacobs to his wife, two kids ages 2 and 4 months, friends and family), said, using his telepathic powers (no, really!) from his secret SoCal headquarters.
Every once in a while, however, his meek human alter-ego would slip in and out of the conversation, thereby confusing your loyal reporter with tales of near brushes with fame and fortune throughout the group's eight years of existence.
While every Aquacadet knows that the band is from the exotic island of Aquabania, the Commander said that their human counterparts "all played in different punk bands, and it soon became apparent to us that everything was becoming a parody of each other. I mean, heaven forbid I should make fun of any genre, whether it's new punk, old punk or ska!"
While The Aquabats built a reputation on cheesy extravaganzas, the group continues to be on the outside-looking-in through the glass wall that separates them from Show Biz Greatness.
"Our deal with Goldenvoice Records folded when the concert promotions company decided to cut their losses and, for the last two years, we've been self-supporting via the Internet and touring. We all have work-a-day jobs in our Clark Kent/Peter Parker guises."
Oh, the injustice of it all!
"Without the support of a major label behind us, we couldn't follow through after being initially approached to do songs for the 'Spider-Man' movie, as well as the upcoming 'Powerpuff Girls' film. One of the good things money from a big record company provides is that it would've given us advance time to actually write songs for these movies."
Where: World Cafe, 1130 N. Nimitz Highway The Aquabats with Pimpbot
When: 7:30 p.m. today
Cost: $17.50
Call: 599-4450
The band even lost "one of the best drummers ever" in Baron Von Tito, otherwise known as Travis Barker.
"We were on tour with blink-182 and, to make a long story short, they wanted a new drummer. Their album 'Dude Ranch' just went gold, he saw his chance, learned their songs in 45 minutes time and he got the job.
"We're anti-heroes because we never really win! We're the ones who always walk home with bloody noses after a fight. So if there's a lesson to be learned, kids, it's that if you wanna be rich, practice playing your instruments and don't put 'fights crime' anywhere in your resume!"
The Commander's tales of woe continued when he mentioned that the group's participation in a kids show being developed for the Fox Family Channel fell through when Disney/ABC bought the company out.
"This has happened so many times to us over the years that it's funny -- well, not funny, but beyond ridiculous that we have to laugh."
(Such brave men to poo-poo adversity!)
Still, there are opportunities out there, as in performing the opening and closing theme songs for Evan Dorkin's "Welcome to Eltingville," a Cartoon Network pilot episode that occasionally airs and could become a series.
But it's The Aquabats' live shows that keep fans rooting for the antiheroes.
"We'll be there in full battle gear," the Commander promises. "We'll be bringing all the monster costumes and poor-man pyrotechnics that we can bring on the plane. It's going to be tacky, cheesy, dumb and funny, but cool!"
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