Junk e-mail could drive
you to drink

After months of receiving tons and tons and TONS of junk e-mails involving credit cards, sex potions and the services of Miss Cleo, I finally got an offer worthy of my response:

A request to join Beer Club International.

According to the e-mail, if I choose to join I'll get four bottles of domestic beer, four bottles of imported beer and four more bottles of "specialty Belgian brew" for just $34.95 a month. All the beers are selected by Michael Jackson, who, according to the Web site, is the "world's leading writer on beer" and not the guy with the glove, the amusement park and the pet chimp.

Since some of my friends are "the world's leading drinkers of beer," and not knowing where else I could obtain "specialty Belgian brew," I said to myself, "Self, this is a good deal."

Alas, after spending the time (not company time, of course) to fill out and submit the information form, I was rejected because state law prohibits alcohol from being mailed to individuals in Hawaii.

Maybe the guys at the state Capitol should rethink that law, especially since they're considering raising taxes on alcohol to make up for a budget shortfall. That way, they could also apply the taxes to mail-order liquor orders as well.

That, and I could get my "specialty Belgian brew."

Rod Antone

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