Honolulu Lite
That’s what friends
are for: RidiculeALO-HA FRIDAY
HISTORIC MOMENT: Honolulu Lite hit the big time and made it to national television this week. Naturally, I missed it. But I had a number of phone calls regarding A&E's "Biography" which profiled songbird Dionne Warwick. During the discussion of Warwick's curious association with the Psychic Friends Network and resulting public ridicule, producers aired a copy of a Honolulu Lite column from years past, as an example of the scorn being heaped upon her at the time. I remember the column but don't think I was unduly harsh to Dionne. I merely asked why she had not used her psychic powers to see that her musical career was going in the toilet.And now the news:
Evolution at work
ZAMBOANGA, Philippines (Reuters) >> Nine men involved in a drinking session tossed what they thought was a toy grenade around to each other, pulling out its pin and putting it back again. The men ...(That's enough. It's pretty clear where this is heading.)
Whipping up a protest
HONG KONG (Reuters) >> Police arrested five gay rights activists for disorderly conduct after they staged the territory's first sado-masochism protest against a raid on a live sex show. About 10 men marched to a central police station, sporting leather outfits and chains, whipping each other through the streets.(After their arrest, the men filed a complaint protesting the lack of police brutality.)
When grannies go bad
NAIROBI (Reuters) >> A 93-year-old Kenyan woman was sentenced to four months in jail for cutting down her son's banana plants. Last year, a 70-year-old woman was jailed after she tried to bribe a magistrate with a packet of tea.(In its continued crackdown on dangerous old women, Nairobi authorities also have flogged an old biddy for threatening a major drug dealer with a fingernail shard and sent a 79-year-old wheelchair-bound grandmother to the gallows for passing gas in the general vicinity of the Minister of Public Roads and Colorful Apparel.)
Weird Web site:
How do you tell if the sharks are circling your favorite television show and it's about to bite the big one? Try Jump the Shark (http://www.jumptheshark.com). There's a defining moment when a television show has reached its peak and is on its way to the dumpster. This Web site calls it "jumping the shark." You can vote for when you think a certain TV show jumped the shark and why? (One wag said "Baywatch" jumped the shark when David Hasselhoff snorkeled in the sand.) I still say that the kiss of death to any show is when a chimp or Pauly Shore shows up as a guest star.
Honolulu Lite on Sunday:
Seizing cars, jailing parents, minor amputations and other fun and entertaining ways to stop the idiot speed racers who plague our highways.
Quote me on this:
"Egotist: A person more interested in himself than me." -- Ambrose Bierce.
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
The Honolulu Lite online archive is at:
https://archives.starbulletin.com/lite