Honolulu Lite
It's usually not good to pick arguments with 3 year olds because you won't win. But I have to challenge little Jake Paine's claim to having hit a hole-in-one golfing. According to news reports, the kid aced a 40-yard hole in California with a Snoopy driver. There was even video of it. But it wasn't a hole-in-one. The kid was hitting ball after ball at this hole and one finally dribbled in. That's like saying you hit a hole-in-one after firing three balls out of bounds and hitting fourth one into the hole. And I'm not saying all this just because I'm bitter because I didn't get MY name in the paper when I hit a legit hole-in-one. Really. Jealousy knows no
(out of) boundsAnd now the news:
Condom in loo of privacy
WELLINGTON (Reuters) >> Two condom machines are being sent to scientists and workers at new Zealand's Scott Base in Antarctica in time for spring and summer visitors."It's pretty much a little village down there where everyone knows everyone, so if they can walk into a loo and buy a condom, it's a lot easier than going to the local shop and buying them when everyone knows what's going on," said merchandise supplier Kevin Ashton.
(If everyone knows everyone, hiding the machines in the loo isn't going to fool anyone.)
A case of Dolittle, Do-late
KIEV (Reuters) >> A hippopotamus mauled a Ukrainian woman who leapt into a zoo enclosure to swim with the three-ton animal and its baby. Zoo officials said visitors commonly ignore warning signs and fences to try to cavort with the animals.(Evolution in action.)
Life imitates joke
MEXICO CITY (Reuters) >> Mexican police pulled over a man for speeding and were amazed to find an endangered Siberian tiger cub in the trunk.(They told the man to take the cub to the zoo. A week later, they stopped him again, this time at a beach. They asked why he hadn't taken the tiger to the zoo. The man said he had. In fact, they had so much fun at the zoo, this week they were going to the ... sorry, bad joke.)
Weird Web site: For proof that the Internet isn't capable of doing everything yet, go to the Virtual Bubble Wrap web site at www.snapbubbles.com. This purports to be a site for people who enjoy popping that bubble wrap stuff that is used as packing material. You'll find a virtual sheet of bubble wrap that you pop by moving the arrow. The site deprives you of two of the main enjoyments of popping bubble wrap: the feel of pressing down on the bubble and the sound. Both are poorly recreated here. I'm just very disappointed in the computer industry as a whole for being unable to come up with a more realistic bubble-popping experience.
Honolulu Lite on Sunday: Purple ketchup? Has Heinz lost its Meinz? What's next mauve mustard?
Quote me on this: "In theory, there is no difference between theory and practice. But in practice, there is." -- Jan L.A. van de Snepscheut
Alo-Ha! Friday compiles odd bits of news from Hawaii
and the world to get your weekend off to an entertaining start.
Charles Memminger also writes Honolulu Lite Mondays,
Wednesdays and Sundays. Send ideas to him at the
Honolulu Star-Bulletin, 500 Ala Moana Blvd., Suite 7-210,
Honolulu 96813, phone 235-6490 or e-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com.
The Honolulu Lite online archive is at:
https://archives.starbulletin.com/lite