Changing Hawaii

By Diane Yukihiro Chang

Monday, May 17, 1999

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Advice for 1999
UH grads

YESTERDAY they were a joyous sight all over town: smiling, lei-bedecked graduates of the University of Hawaii, fresh from their commencement exercises and basking in an aura of accomplishment and relief.

It reminded me of my very own graduation from the Manoa campus 20 years ago.

Back then, I was ecstatic to be finally free of early-morning classes, essay exams and term papers. The hard part was over, right?

Hardly. Going to college was a cinch compared to working too many hours, giving too much to the tax man and feeling like a rat on a treadmill called Making Ends Meet.

In school, everything is methodical and predictable. If you go to class, take notes, study and participate in group discussions, you win the game. You make "A" (in a good sense, that is).

In the job force, however, you can report to work every day, do your assignments diligently and even be the nice person who volunteers to brew the java. Yet you can still end up with an "F" for failing to navigate the ever-changing maze of office politics and personality clashes. The journey can be treacherous.

The scariest part of life, though, is deciding which so- called sage advice to embrace along the way. This will keep a-coming, from all directions, often unsolicited and sometimes unbelievably callous.

Take Louise K.Y. Ing, founding shareholder, director and officer for the Honolulu law firm of Alston Hunt Floyd & Ing. The attorney with degrees from Yale and UC-Berkeley specializes in commercial law, real estate and employment litigation, dispute resolution and counseling.

The wife and mother of two serves on corporate and nonprofit boards, and is an akamai, respected pillar of the community. But while growing up on Oahu and matriculating on the mainland, Louise recalls comments that made a lasting impression -- by challenging her to ignore the limitations that were being implied:

During junior high, the mother of a son pointed out to Louise's mom: "You know, boys don't date girls who get As."
During college, a female counselor at an Ivy League school told Louise, who was pondering a career as an attorney: "Why do you want to go to law school? Why don't you become a paralegal instead?"
A prospective employer addressing Louise, as she first entered the job market in Boston: "So you want to work here? How nice. Of course, most women who come to Boston are looking for a husband..."
A Honolulu lawyer about the just-graduated Louise, selected to clerk for a prominent judge: "Oh, everybody knows she just got the job because she's Sheridan's daughter."

LUCKILY, Louise already knew the truism which I am about to impart to the Class of 1999 of my beloved alma mater. Consider it my graduation gift: some unequivocal advice on advice.

If it revs you up to pursue the dream, thank the person for such empowerment and go for it, dearie!

But if it's discouraging, and veers you away from what you really want to do, emulate Louise Ing and countless other Hawaii residents who have heard that they can't do this and they can't do that, because they're not this or that, and they're certainly not good enough to achieve greatness.

Hey, you're the one who graduated this week! What do those naysayers know?

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Diane Yukihiro Chang's column runs Monday and Friday.
She can be reached by phone at 525-8607, via e-mail at
DianeChang@aol.com, or by fax at 523-7863.