Illustration By David Swann, Star-Bulletin

By Star-Bulletin staff with special thanks
to the Portland Oregonian.

WE'RE all the stars of our own life stories, but when Hollywood comes calling, will your story be da bomb or a bomb? Will people pay to read your autobiography, or will you have to pay a ghost writer to embellish and colorize your black and white tales? Here's a quickie quiz that will determine once and for all how amazing you really are. If you're the warrior you think you are, make copies, pass them to your friends and compare your scores.

But remember, to compare oneself to others is human; to live like there is no tomorrow divine. Go for it!

THRILL SEEKERS

Have you ever gone:

Hang gliding? 15 points
Parachuting? 15 pts.
Surfing or windsurfing? 10 pts.
Scuba diving? 10 pts.
Bungee jumping? 10 pts.
Whitewater rafting? 15 pts.
Mountain climbing? 10 pts. ( Everest, add 10 pts.)

Have you ever:

Set a sports record? 20 pts.
Run a marathon? 2 pts. each
Dove off a cliff? 10 pts.
Driven a race car? 20 pts.

Bonus:

Add 2 pts. for every sports trophy you've earned

TRAVEL

Have you ever:

Piloted an airplane? 10 pts.
Hiked or biked more than 100 miles at once? 10 pts.
Sailed solo on an ocean voyage? 20 pts.
Visited a foreign country? (Qty: countries) 1 pt. per country
Contracted a disease in a foreign country? (Qty: diseases) 2 pts. per disease

Bonus:

Add 2 pts for every city you've lived in (Qty: cities)

IT'S A MYSTERY

Have you ever:

Seen a ghost? (Qty: ghosts) 2 pts. per ghost
Seen a UFO? 10 pts.; add 50 if you were abducted
Died, then returned to your body? 20 pts.
Been a member of a cult? 10 pts.
Displayed psychic powers? 10 pts.

FAME AND FORTUNE

Have you ever:

Won more than $10,000 in a jackpot or lottery? 10 pts.
Been homeless? 20 pts.
Been on TV? 5 pts. if you were anonymous; 10 if your face, voice and name were known; 25 if you were the star
Been in a Hollywood movie? 10 pts. if you were an extra; 20 pts. if you had a speaking part; 30 pts. if you were the star
Performed on stage before more than 500 people? 20 pts.
Cut a record or music video? 20 pts.
Been the subject of a newspaper story? 10 pts.
Had your byline published? 5 pts. for newspaper or magazine; 10 pts. for a book; 20 pts. for a best-seller
Had something named after you (disease, building, product, etc.)? 20 pts.
Been close friends with someone famous? 10 pts.
Started a business? 10 pts.; add 10 pts. if it lasted 3 years.

LIVE TO TELL

Have you ever survived a:

Plane crash? 20 pts.
Hurricane? 20 pts.
Tsunami? 20 pts.
Major earthquake? 5 pts.
Shark attack? 15 pts.
Volcanic eruption? 5 pts.
Serious auto accident? 10 pts.
House fire? 5 pts.

Have you ever:

Overcome a disability? 20 pts.
Fought in a war? 50 pts.
Been a victim of a felony? 5 pts.

Bonus:

If you've survived a major disaster not listed here (avalanche, shipwreck, etc.) add 10 pts. per incident

THE DARK SIDE

(WARNING: We do not condone any of the following behavior. Do not try to increase your score by doing these things now.)

Have you ever:

Done undercover investigation? 10 pts.
Been involved in a political scandal? 10 pts.
Been in a gang or outlaw group? 10 pts.
Been involved in a crime? 10 pts.

Bonus:

Give yourself 10 pts. if you have fulfilled some dark, forbidden fantasy too lurid to mention

GOOD DEEDS

Have you ever:

Saved an animal's life? 5 pts.
Saved a human life? 10 pts.
Done missionary work? 10 pts.
Run for public office? 10 pts.; 20 if elected
Volunteered for charity? 10 pts.
Participated in a charity walk? 10 pts.

EVERYDAY DRAMA

Have you ever:

Given birth? (Qty: kids) 5 pts. per child
Been married? (Qty: times) 5 pts. per marriage
Quit a job abruptly in anger?10 pts.
Been fired? 5 pts.
Been sued? 5 pts.
Taken part in a public protest? 5 pts.; 20 if you led the protest

Bonus:

Add 20 pts. if you work in a position such as police officer, firefighter, judge, teacher, nurse, doctor, clergy or social worker

PENALTIES

Subtract points for the following:

For every TV set you own, (Qty: televisions) minus 2 pts.
For every hour of TV you watch in a typical week, (Qty: hours) deduct 1 pt.
Do you sit behind a desk for more than 20 hours a week? Deduct 5 pts.
Do you spend more than two hours a week shopping in malls? Deduct 5 pts.
Do you spend more than five hours a week on the Internet? Deduct 5 pts.
Do you play video games more than two hours a week? Deduct 5 pts.

YOUR TOTAL WARRIOR QUOTIENT (It's not a real form; for amusement only) Scoring 0-100: Wake up Rip Van Winkle, and have some Wheaties for breakfast. 101-200: An impressive start but the middle of your story calls for more action. Get off the couch and start living. 201-300: What are you? Military? You're probably known as the life of the party, full of rousing tales and anecdotes, but you still think you could do more. 300+: Cowabunga! You're lucky to be alive. Maybe it's time to consider selling your life story or writing a book, that is, if you're not too busy jumping out of planes or riding tsunamis.

Got an adventure to share?

If you've topped 300, turn to CLICK HERE to find out how your best adventure could win you a pair of tickets to see the IMAX film "Everest."

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