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My Kind of Town Don Chapman |
That’s a wrap
>> Around Oahu
When Ho'ola came marching home from war, hurrah hurrah!
The goddess of life shrugged -- it could have been worse -- hurrah hurrah!
Yes, Mort the god of death got his, but Ho'ola had defended life and thousands of people were saved. She liked that Tommy Franks. Not many generals welcomed her to war-planning sessions.
Ho'ola left Concordia nee Salama the goddess of peace behind in the Middle East. "I'm needed here."
"That you are, baby. But you start to lose any of your perky, call me."
Returning to her islands, Ho'ola found that there was a new saint in town: Meg the Divine. She heard from the spirits on the wind how Meg had brought a young surfer back from death's foyer, and now a cult was growing as she continued to perform miracles. One day Ho'ola stopped by the upper Nuuanu estate Meg inherited from her deceased husband Victor. The surfer, shirtless, was barbecuing out by the pool. "Welcome to the club, Meg. Anything I can do for you, let me know. As for that Chookie Boy, oooh, he's somethin'!"
At Queen's, Shauny Nakamura, her twin Fawn and their best friend Lily Ah Sun had a wonderful, tearful reunion. Lily noticed that Shauny, excited as she was, didn't always talk in exclamation points any more. But she squealed in excitement when Fawn asked her to be her maid of honor, because in Lt. Col. Chuck Ryan she'd finally found the man who made her want to give up virginity.
After Lily left Shauny and Fawn, she stopped by Quinn's room. "Good news, Lil," he said. "They're letting me go in the morning."
"Then I have some work to do tonight."
"How come?"
"Because tomorrow you're coming home with me."
And he did. They were married six months later, and their union proved that best friends often make the best lovers. Once they were "best-friend-cousins." Turned out they really weren't cousins, but the friendship grew even stronger over the years.
Lily's youngest brother Lance recovered completely from his head injury. A month after Lily's wedding, Lance and Greg were united in a beautiful ceremony at John Henry Felix's little beachside chapel.
The only sad closing note is that Lily's other brother Laird, who after reading "Jesus Was A CEO: The Gospel of Acquisitions" went off to Afghanistan to teach Christianity and capitalism to the mujahadeen, was captured by an Afghan war lord and turned into a sex slave for his camel drivers, and was never heard from again.
Note to readers: This week we've been tying up loose ends from the two previous books, "The Honolulu Soap Company" and "Hunt Club." On Monday we begin the third, "False Teeth."
See the Columnists section for some past articles.
Don Chapman is editor of MidWeek. His serialized novel runs daily in the Star-Bulletin. He can be e-mailed at dchapman@midweek.com