Now, if the F-16 only had a TV remote control, it'd be perfect.

Taking a load off these days can mean simply laying back in your favorite recliner and letting the law of gravity be administered equally. As the recliner reclines, all that downward pressure on the spine is redirected. That's why recliners seem so comfortable they fool the body into thinking it's back in the weightlessness of the womb.

NASA research shows that the single most comfortable position for humans is a semi-fetal posture with all muscles, ligaments and tendons in neutral, with nothing dedicated to keeping Homo erectus upright. This is about halfway between lying and standing, with the back angle at approximately 128 degrees. Ahhhh.

To hasten The Recline of Western Civilization, the Star-Bulletin mobilized the Home Zone Comfort Squad to look at off-the-shelf recliners. Here are some tips:

• We counted as recliners any personal chair that tilted into the back-comfort position, and which generally had a built-in ottoman for calf support. There also are recliners built into couches and love seats.

  

• Recliners often are found in the entertainment area of furniture stores, not in the swank home-decorating arenas. Prices vary wildly, but most seemed to average about $800. (The prices listed here are the list prices, but in most cases the recliners are hundreds of dollars less, depending on availability, sale promotions and the phases of the moon. Shop around.)

  

• You pay for what you get. The more features, the more cost. Some models, such as La-Z-Boy, might seem marginally more expensive, but have warranties and robust construction.

• Many recliners will have discontinued tags. This is because recliners generally have a tried-and-true internal chassis, but the exterior design and fabric choices are modified every year by manufacturers. If you like a model that says discontinued, get it now (On the other hand, next year's model might be even nicer). Custom-ordering a chair is possible, but can take several months.

  

• Different designs often are available in a variety of coverings. In general, men prefer leather coverings (which women find cold and slippery), and women prefer cloth covering (which men find too decorative and disturbingly absorbent).

• Some recliners have heating elements and "massagers," ranging from knobs that knead the spine like cookie dough to rather bizarre joy-buzzers buried in the back. They hum like boomers at an Abba reunion. These cost more.

• Despite the apparent bulk of recliners, we found most of them rather light and easy to move. Most recliners also have removable backrests, with locking knobs reachable through a Velcro'd back panel.

• On the chairs with built-in ottomans, we preferred the "chaise lounge" design, which provides a single uninterrupted surface. Many recliners have a kind of miniature padded intermediate calf support, which seemed unnecessarily complicated and a potential foot-snagger.

• Built-in ottomans are released through a locking lever or handle located on the right side of the chair. The recliner must be locked back into place before exiting or entering the reclined state, however, which requires a complex knee- and hip-twist movement. Some folks may have trouble with the handle slipping a piece of PVC pipe over the handle makes it longer and easier to grab (and looks quite chic!)

• Some expensive models have the reclining action controlled by electric motors, and can also cycle the chair into a near-vertical position. This feature can also be helpful people without the body mass to force the chair into the ideal reclined angle.

• According to chair salesmen we talked to, the primary seasons for buying recliners are Christmas and the beginning of football, and the primary customers are baby boomers buying their retired parents a new chair, and new couples buying their first furniture (and who figure what's good for their parents is good for them).

• Buying a recliner is a highly subjective experience. The best advice we can give is that you park your butt in as many as possible. Interestingly, of the Star-Bulletin staffers who worked on the research, one man preferred the La-Z-Boy Forte (in leather), one man preferred the Stratolounger Zone (in leather) and one woman preferred the Stratolounger Austin (in fabric).

The mens' comments were, "Ahhhhh."

Key to recliners

(Listed in their order of appearance above)

(1) La-Z-Boy Forte, $1399.95 (leather) at HomeWorld, $799.95 (fabric) at Sears.
(2) Stratolounger Austin, $699.95 at HomeWorld.
(3) Action Lane Drifter, $1199.99 at Sears.
(4) Stratolounger St. Elmo Medi-Chair, $1179.95 at HomeWorld.
(5) La-Z-Boy Palm Beach, $849.95 at HomeWorld.
(6) Panasonic Massage Lounger EP 584, $799 at Chock's.
(7) Panasonic Massage Lounger EP 1000, $2499 at Shirokiya.
(8) Chairworks Prince 1062L, $289.95 at HomeWorld.