StarBulletin.com

Let's end bias over same-sex unions


By

POSTED: Wednesday, May 05, 2010

(Editor's note: This was penned as an open letter to Gov. Linda Lingle.)

Dear Gov. Lingle:

I am 20 — and gay. I have been my whole life (gay, that is). I was raised Catholic. Baptized at New Hope at Farrington. I loved Jesus. I thought he was “;the way.”; Then there was a ministry for “;people like me.”; That was the first time I realized that being gay was different. I wasn't just Reece, I was Reece who was “;one of them.”; Over time I got used to it, and it doesn't really bother me so much anymore. However, my family doesn't approve ... so we don't talk about it. I'm lucky — I have a friend who used to be beaten by his dad just for being gay.

My life went on, and I've been pretty successful thus far. I work at a law firm. I go to school. I pay taxes. I donate to nonprofits. I try to do volunteer work when possible. I vote. I hold the door open for anyone walking ahead of me. I try to “;live aloha,”; and I happen to be in love. While I may seem like an “;average Joe”; kind of citizen, I'm not. One day, I want to be able to share my life with this person (like “;married people”;). But I can't.

When House Bill 444 regarding civil unions came up, I knew there would be controversy. I knew that the church would stand against it for the “;sanctity of marriage.”; I wasn't too worried. Then I went to a session at the Capitol. Outside the Senate doors was a long line of children in red shirts — children my little brother's age (13). With them were their parents, holding hands in large circles ... praying. Praying against me. Praying that I do not have the same right to what they have with their spouses. Praying that I be “;healed”; and forgiven for just being me.

As these thoughts began to strike me, one of the kids looked at me and stuck out her middle finger and said, “;I hope you burn.”; That broke me. A little girl, so young to this world; a little girl, whose education I pay for; a little girl, who is going to end up becoming best friends with “;one of us”; in high school to help her with her makeup at prom — that little girl wants me to burn, for being who I am. This little girl is being taught to hate — just because I want to share my life with someone.

When the session ended for the day, it turned out that the red shirts had “;won.”; After we came out of the gallery, at least five women dropped to their knees, crying, saying “;Thank you Jesus!”;

Now, governor, for one minute, imagine standing before another “;average Joe citizen”; who does all the things that you do (work, pay taxes, etc.), and watching them drop to their knees, in joyful tears, thanking their “;god”; for helping you to be reminded that you're different, for helping hate you.

The same-sex marriage fiasco has been going on for just as long as racial discrimination, the women's suffrage movement, disability discrimination and other “;equal treatment”; agendas. However, I must say that the past few months alone have been emotionally draining. I look to my neighbors and wonder, do you hate me, too? Do you pray that I get treated differently just for being me? I look at the red shirts and I tell myself, yes, they hate me.

I urge you, as a fellow human being, as a person of compassion, sign this bill and let this be done with.

Respectfully,

Reece Wiley Matio Frazier

Mililani