After birth and death, the other big day in your life is your wedding day, and some folks like it so much they have several in hope that the marriage will stick. Weddings are a constant in cultures around the world and are considered so important that soap operas schedule them regularly to boost ratings.

In Asia, however, weddings are often considered far more than the simple union of man and wife. They are a social contract between families, uniting dynasties, and in smaller communities, they are an event for the entire village.

“;The Golden Ceremony,”; an exhibit at the East-West Center Gallery, is a colorful look at the marriage customs of Asia, both near and far.

Curated by Michael Schuster, who earned his Ph.D. in Asian theater before becoming curator of the gallery, the exhibit is an explosion of color and finery. It's broken into four regions, ranging from Japan/Korea/China all the way to eastern Turkey. Pieces range from wedding costumes from Chinese opera at Kennedy Theatre to ornately sewn items from Doris Duke's private collection at Shangri-La.

“;Part of any wedding, of course, is the performance aspect,”; said Schuster, explaining the colorful outfits. “;You can't generalize, not with millions of Asians, but an Asian wedding is far more than one man, one woman. It's a union of families, a way to procreate and continue, a practical way to transfer wealth, an auspicious event to encourage fertility. It takes tremendous resources. It's not just a big party!”;

The wedding rituals are generally not just a single event. The conjoining can take several days. And things are changing. With birth rates down in Asia, in countries like Japan, weddings are becoming Westernized, with less to do with religious Shintoism.

“;The traditional processes are disappearing. Still, a suitable match is enormously pleasing and still finds significance. You see a lot of gold here—a symbol of wishing wealth and opulence upon the match.”;

Some traditions are simple. In Java, for example, a standard part of every ceremony is a shadow-puppet play lampooning the lives of the newlyweds, analogous to the slide shows of American weddings.

Many weddings in Southeast Asia involve elaborate parades and processions. In China, astrologers are called in to consult the stars, and numerologists predict the most auspicious date. In India, man and wife enjoy joint henna tattooing on their limbs and then circle a “;holy fire”; several times. In Muslim cultures, the bride and groom listen to readings from the Koran and then sign a contract. In central Asia's neighboring Russia, vodka is somehow involved, to no one's surprise.

Many of the wedding photographs in the exhibit feature cross-cultural marriages, generally the private pictures of East-West scholars like Anna Reynolds, who aided Schuster with the exhibit. She was married in Bali.

“;That's on purpose,”; said Schuster. “;The East-West center is about different countries getting to know one another, and why not through marriage?”;

Marriage in most Asian countries is a religious rite. A civil marriage is rare. Even in China, where Buddhism is unofficial, the culture of Confucianism colors marriage plans.

The sheer opulence of a traditional marriage may be the doom of it. In Korea, the wedding costumes are generally only worn by royalty. In Japan, a traditional marriage with all the trappings is so expensive that flying off to Hawaii for a civil license and beach wedding is far less expensive—“;but still respectable”;—mainly because you don't have to invite the entire town.

“;The cost of a wedding and the creation of items like gowns and golden wedding blankets as dowry can cost a fortune,”; said Schuster. “;You can go deep into debt for many years. It's a big, big commitment.”;

What was Schuster's own wedding like? “;Oh, simple,”; he said, looking flustered for the first time. “;Very, very, very simple!”;