Oceanic Time Warner Cable is ready for your close-up.

You, yes, you could be the next shining star during sports broadcasts on OC16.

Just sign on the star and they'll make you a dotted line. Er, wait, that might not be the way the old Hollywood agent come-on goes.

OC16, the local programming channel for Oceanic Time Warner Cable, will stage three auditions next month for “;OCasters,”; (note the capitalized OC, as in OC16), who will serve as on-camera reporters for live sports broadcasts.

Candidates can be age “;five to age 80,”; said Jenn Boneza, an on-air host for the channel.

“;Basically, if you can hold a microphone and you're comfortable speaking in front of a live camera, you're welcome to come out and audition,”; she said.

Any “;OCaster”; hopeful under 18 must be accompanied by a parent or legal guardian at the audition and at subsequent sporting events, if selected.

Boneza will assist applicants at the check-in table and it is expected that Oceanic personality Tiny Tadani will host the auditions on three successive September Saturdays.

They will be given something specific to read on stage “;in front of everybody, on camera,”; and with all the potentially distracting activity going on around them, the audition setting will somewhat mimic conditions at a live sporting event — somewhat.

“;Live TV can be a monster sometimes,”; Boneza said.

Auditions will be from 2 to 3 p.m. Sept. 12 at Windward Mall; from noon to 1 p.m. Sept. 19 at Kahala Mall fronting Pac Sun; and from noon to 12:45 p.m. Sept. 26 at Ala Moana Centerstage.

Contestants won't be judged on the spot, as not all judges will be present at the auditions.

Whew, no need to worry about Simon Cowell-esque venomous verdicts assailing earnest attempts.

Auditions will be recorded for later reviewing by judges, who will notify those selected by Sept. 30.

As the unemployment boat is about to get boarded by dozens of local television industry professionals of the on- and off-camera variety, the opportunity seems rightly timed — except that this gig doesn't come with a paycheck.

Official rules, disclaimers and legalese can be found online.

IF NO CAN, NO CAN

Anheuser-Busch InBev is pulling its Bud Light ”;Fan Cans”; promotion from towns around America where communities have expressed concern it might encourage underage drinking and infringe on trademarks.

The company has produced cans in 27 different school color combinations — such as blue and white, where the can is blue and bands around the top and bottom are white, as on a football. The cans do not bear any team logos, however.

Anheuser-Busch is a corporate sponsor of University of Hawaii sports, but “;was not planning this promotion in the Hawaii market,”; said John McNamara, UH associate athletic director.

UH's official colors are green, white, silver and black and no cans matching that description exist on the promotion's Web site.

———

Erika Engle is a reporter with the Star-Bulletin. Reach her by e-mail at .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address).