Welcome to the Lite Tuesday Notebook, where we offer thoughts, insights, inspiration, perspicacity—and its lesser-known brother, perspicuity—all in delicious, bite-size nuggets.

All a-Twitter: I think I'm cool now. I've joined that hip online social networking site Twitter, where all the coolest Internet people hang out and talk story. Still haven't quite figured out the point, but I've been welcomed so warmly by strangers across the country and the world it feels a little bit like being picked to play on the cool team in elementary school dodgeball.

On Twitter you tweet, or send out short messages, or get tweeted by others. In fact, many of the tweets seem to be about tweeting. The other thing you do is try to build up a list of followers. I just joined yesterday and I already have 28 followers. One of those is Aloha Arleen (that's her Twitter name). Her real name is Arleen Anderson, and she lives in Kaneohe and has 23,924 followers. She must be very cool. I don't think I've even met 23,924 people in my entire life. I've also been tweeted by LavaSusan (Susan Jaworowski) and KauaiMare (Mary Morita), who actually lives in Denver. I realize now I should have come up with a cooler Twitter name. If you want to look me up, my Twitter name is CharleyMemm. (Booooring.) I might change it to AlohaLavaKaneoheCharley.

Another bird in the hand: Anyone keeping track of how many escaped pet birds I've caught on my lanai should know the number is now six. A battered blue parakeet was lured to the house by my two lovebirds, who attacked him directly when he climbed on top of their cage. Sweety and Baby seem to enjoy luring lost birds to our house and then trying to savage them. Sweety was the first to join the family, landing on my shoulder on the deck several years ago. Then other lost birds appeared. Two were given to friends, and one went to a veterinary clinic. A young male (Baby) is the only bird that Sweety would allow in her cage. My daughter took No. 6, slightly traumatized by Sweety's hostile reception, to the animal hospital, where he was adopted by one of the employees. Why escaped birds keep coming to Hale Memminger is still a mystery.

Driving While Stupid: I believe Gov. Linda Lingle could be setting a dangerous precedent by sending bills to the Legislature that will ban specific activities while driving, including teenagers using cell phones, applying makeup and eating while behind the wheel. I've suggested an overall “;Driving While Stupid”; law to cover all the diverse idiotic things people do while driving. Otherwise, look for the governor to seek a bunch of new laws like: Driving While Juggling Gerbils, Driving While Playing a Bagpipe (or Oboe, Tuba, Sitar), Driving While Undergoing a Trepanation (that's where a doctor drills a hole in your skull), Driving While Feeding a Small Pony, Driving While Arguing International Affairs with United Nations Secretary General Ban Ki-Moon. Please, Governor: A DWS law will solve the problem.