WAILUKU » Vernon Gosney, a survivor of the mass killings and suicides at Jonestown, Guyana, that occurred 30 years ago today, says he feels fortunate to have found a place like Maui to heal his physical and emotional wounds.

“;The resilience of the human spirit is absolutely amazing. ... I've had such a dramatic healing,”; said Gosney, who survived three gunshot wounds.

Gosney, 55, a Maui police officer for 23 years, said recovery from the trauma of the Jonestown killings has not been easy, especially because his 5-year-old son, Mark, was among those who died there.

Under the direction of Peoples Temple leader Jim Jones, some 900 people were either killed or committed suicide through poisoning by drinking a grape-flavored drink spiked with cyanide in Jonestown on Nov. 18, 1978.

Gosney said Jim Jones and Jonestown began as a utopian idea but slid into an atmosphere of paranoia and self-destruction.

“;Jonestown didn't start out the way it ended,”; he said.

Gosney said that after being rejected by their own families because of their mixed marriage, he and his African-American wife, Cheryl, were attracted to the friendly, communal atmosphere offered by Jim Jones' Peoples Temple in Northern California in the early 1970s.

“;We were embraced as a couple,”; he said. “;It was just like one family.”;

When Cheryl suffered brain injury during childbirth, Gosney, who had become an alcoholic, found himself turning to Jones for help.

Gosney said he wanted to believe what others had said about Jones and his power of healing.

“;I was in desperate need to believe that Jim Jones would be able to heal Cheryl,”; he said.

Gosney said once a member of the Peoples Temple, he, like other members, were subjected to a new environment that broke down social conditioning.

For instance, other members cared for his son, while he cared for other children, he said.

Gosney said he later found Jones' faith-healing miracles were fake.

“;He was a charlatan. He was a man of many things, “; he said.

Jones began creating an atmosphere of paranoia, explaining how the government was out to get his group.

To support his claim, Jones cited historic examples, such as the federal government's study of African-Americans who had syphilis but were never treated, Gosney said.

Gosney said that as stories spread about Jones, including how he was having sex with different women and men, people began to leave, including one of his top secretaries.

Jones refused to release the secretary's son from the group, and in 1977 went to Guyana in South America to start Jonestown.

“;At the time, we thought we were saving our children from the evils of capitalism,”; Gosney said. “;Socialism was the answer to everything.”;

Gosney said the line of what was acceptable behavior began to move slowly.

“;As things got worse, people were holding onto their dream,”; he said.

Gosney said that after he lost his lawsuit against the hospital for damage done to his wife, he moved with his son to Jonestown in March 1978.

Gosney said Jones himself was a drug addict and that as his addiction increased, so did his paranoia.

In the jungle 19 miles from the coastline, the Peoples Temple tried to start an agricultural commune in an area known by the natives as Chalk Hill.

“;It was not the best soil. ... The agricultural mission was not a success,”; he said.

Members ate rice and gravy for breakfast and chicken once a month, and his 5-foot-11-inch body withered to 119 pounds, he said.

Gosney said the paranoia increased, and drills were conducted to prepare in the event some enemy came to steal their children.

He said people were told it would be better for them to commit revolutionary suicide than to give up their ideals.

Gosney was wounded by followers who started shooting while he tried to leave Jonestown with U.S. Rep. Leo Ryan, a California congressman who went with a delegation to investigate the church. Gosney collapsed in tall grass, was found and was taken to a military hospital in Puerto Rico.

Gosney later learned that his son had been killed along with hundreds of other children.

His wife died in 1980 in a San Francisco care home.

He moved to Maui in 1982 to join another commune, which later collapsed, and joined the police force in 1986.

Gosney, who is openly gay and has AIDS, said he has found a lot of friends in Hawaii who have helped him in his recovery.

“;I have a lot of gratitude,”; he said.