StarBulletin.com

A simple courtesy in danger of extinction


By

POSTED: Wednesday, November 05, 2008

Before students learn calculus and chemistry, they need to take a refresher course in courtesy. Perhaps adults should enroll in this course as well, because they share their children's questionable ideas of manners. Although “;thank you”; is one of the most important phrases, it is also a phrase that is used sparingly and often grudgingly. In today's society, people of all ages and ethnicities share the erroneous belief that decorum is optional.

The pleasantries of human interaction are spoiled by self-absorbed ingrates who are unappreciative of services and acts of kindness or generosity. As a child, my parents taught me the value of manners. Dozens of “;thank you”; cards later, saying “;thank you”; is an instinctive response. Unfortunately, many members of society do not seem to possess the same regard for etiquette.

Last week, I held the door open for a teenage girl and received neither a polite “;thank you”; nor acknowledgment of my presence. I decided that if she could not be bothered to say “;thank you,”; I could not be bothered to extend a common courtesy to her. Watching her desperate attempt to catch the door was almost as satisfying as a simple “;thank you”; would have been.

  In another instance, my mom loudly told a man “;you're welcome”; after she held the door open for him and received no thanks. He responded that she should not hold the door open for other people if she expected a “;thank you.”; Contrary to his belief, it is imperative that we expect common courtesy from our social equals in order to maintain some semblance of politeness. Such courtesy has become rare, so rare that we must be reminded of our social duty and told to be grateful. It is a disheartening sign that we are failing to instill manners in the members of our society. Expressing thanks for a reward or gift should be done of one's own volition, with sincerity and genuine appreciation. Society's ideas of courtesy have drastically evolved, so much so that we have forgotten all forms of decency and decorum.

The mentality that a “;thank you”; is unnecessary is a disease that has indiscriminately affected countless individuals. It is appalling that people no longer feel compelled to thank others for their kindness, generosity and thoughtfulness. Those who share this belief have convinced well-mannered people that their attempts at courtesy are in vain. Such ingrates lack the proper respect for their peers, a respect that is the cornerstone of society and human interaction. Those who are too lazy or too self-centered to say “;thank you”; are openly displaying their contempt for the members of their community and society.

Beyond lacking appreciation, they lack the respect that is due to every person. Respect for others and respect for oneself are the key principles of any community, any society, and any nation in the world. Mutual courtesy and respect form a bond that unites humanity, encourages cooperation and upholds common courtesy.

  If a “;thank you”; is given freely and sincerely, then it should neither be overlooked nor taken for granted. Under such circumstances, these eight letters form the most powerful words of any language. They not only express gratitude for a service, but also uphold the very core of human interaction - courtesy and respect. Without these ideals, the foundation of society is weakened and the future of social relationships is in jeopardy. Two simple words can re-establish this courtesy and re-teach us to be respectful of our equals. Unfortunately, with people too self-absorbed and inconsiderate, common courtesy is in danger of extinction.

Marissa Kubo is a junior at Moanalua High School.