Thousands of Hawaii residents unsure about how to vote on the constitutional-convention question have been patiently waiting for direction from the Honolulu Lite Department of Political Insight and Lunch Wagon Reviews.

I have waited until now, practically the eve of Tuesday's election, to announce my position on Con Con because I take very seriously the enormous power my counsel wields in matters of state. My endorsement has meant doom to many political careers. In fact, I am often lobbied heavily by candidates to endorse their rivals. So, whichever side I favor when it comes to Con Con, you can be sure the other side will be happy.

It is no surprise that many people are against Con Con, mainly because of its name. When a bunch of delegates meet for a Con Con, you know someone's going to get conned. Twice. If there is a Con Con, the first order of business should be to change its name to something a little less terrifying, like “;It's-All-Good! It's-All-Good!”;

It's ironic that when every candidate for office, from president down to dog catcher, is running on a platform of CHANGE! so many people in Hawaii are against the one institution intentionally designed to bring about change, a constitutional convention.

Some people just don't like the idea of the Hawaii state Constitution being tinkered with. But Con Con really isn't a scary thing. It's just a chance to put the state Constitution up on the rack and inspect its underbelly for signs of wear and tear. Think of it as a constitutional safety check. But whereas our cars have to have a safety check once a year, the Constitution hasn't had a safety check since 1978. Think about it. At the last Con Con, people didn't even have cell phones.

  Some controversial issues could come up. Some people want the bloated, centralized Department of Education revamped. Instead of one big Board of Education for public schools, some people want to break it up into several independent boards that could more quickly address the specific needs of particular districts.

I have a better idea. I think the more boards of education, the better. In fact, the best way to keep kids in school and working hard is to make each student chairman of their own board of education. Imagine, a kid is thinking about skipping class but suddenly realizes, “;Hey, I can't cut out from school, I'm on the Board of Education. I AM the Board of Education.”; Thousands and thousands of one-student boards of education making important decisions for their one-student constituency: themselves.

Con Con also would take a look at how to select judges (I say darts at phone books), how long politicians should be allowed to suck on the government teat and whether dog catcher should be an elected position or appointed.

In the end I made my decision using the same criteria I always use: entertainment value. So, I hereby support Con Con simply because it will be so fun to watch.