Long-distance relationships are supposed to be hard to maintain. Still, half an ocean and most of a continent can't keep Hawaii and Louisiana Tech from getting close enough for discomfort.

Yeah, their history together goes back to just 2000, and the WAC's other Bulldogs remain ahead in line for Warrior wrath. But even 4,500 miles between campuses and light-years separating cultures can't dampen this blossoming loathe affair.

Booking the Bulldogs as homecoming patsies tonight looks like another of the little arrows fired at both sides over recent seasons—and let's just say they're not from Cupid's quiver. If LaTech coach Derek Dooley is smart (law school grad, so he probably is) he will convince his team UH spends all its time thinking of ways to belittle the Rustonians.

What were the Warriors to do? Utah State and Idaho are road games this year.

The source of this warm-fuzziness is the 2003 game, when, in the Bulldogs' view, the Warriors celebrated a little too hard on their field after winning in Ruston. It boiled over again last year as UH was docked 15 yards for doing the haka. Then Davone Bess alleged that barrister Dooley swore at him, questioning his courage for running out of bounds. Dooley, through a spokesman, denied it.

Toss in three close losses for LaTech, two of them at home, and you have a fully fueled feud.

Hawaii fans, who remain kava-bitter about the haka causing a penalty, should realize anything resembling a throat-slash motion is going to draw a personal foul. Doesn't matter if it's part of a UH cultural dance or a Miami touchdown dance. And the Warriors were lucky they weren't sanctioned for sticking middle finger during a previous performance.

As for receiver-said, coach-said, I'll take the word of a player who never lied to me in the three years I've known him over that of a lawyer/coach/AD every time—especially when the erstwhile mouthpiece uses a mouthpiece.

This is all juxtaposed tonight to some curiously cuddly recent moves by UH.

The Warriors have come a long way when it comes to sportsmanship, some would even say too far. Now players write letters to San Jose State apologizing for personal fouls, and Greg McMackin threw the Alpha Bulldogs a bone by canceling a postgame ha'a (haka lite) after winning at Fresno.

If he were a gangster, they'd call him Nice Guy Mackie.

Tonight's game?

You can't count on forcing six turnovers a week, so three words: Stop the run.

LaTech has a history of trampling over the Warriors if they're not ready. If it happens tonight, the Bulldogs have a chance for their first win at Aloha Stadium.

Someday, someone with juice will look at a map of the United States and realize what the rest of us dummies already know. There's absolutely no reason for a school within shouting distance of the Mississippi to be wasting gas and time traipsing around the WAC.

Until then, Hawaii and LaTech can enjoy their geographically challenged, same-time-next-year rendezvous. When it comes to football, grudge is a splendid thing.