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Honolulu Lite
Charles Memminger
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Hawaii too exotic, Cokie? Okie-dokie.
Welcome to the Lite Tuesday Notebook, where we dot all Is, cross all Ts, slash all Zs, put cute little curly cues on Rs and generally decorate each letter to enhance your column-reading experience.
» Hokie Cokie: Barack Obama was criticized recently by ABC News political reporter Cokie Roberts for going on vacation in Hawaii. But she graciously conceded that Hawaii is part of the United States. "I know Hawaii is a state, but it has the look of him going off to some sort of foreign, exotic place."
She said he should have gone to Myrtle Beach.
The funny part of this is that someone named "Cokie" would presume to tell us what is "foreign" and "exotic." Someone named after a soda pop has no business lecturing people on what is normal or abnormal. We can only suppose that Cokie has fond memories of vacationing at Myrtle Beach as a child with her brothers and sisters Pepsie, Rootbeerie, Seven Uppie and Mountain Dewie.
I've been to Myrtle Beach and I can report that there are no myrtles to be found there. Or beach either. Washington, D.C., insiders like Cokie must think no one in foreign, exotic Hawaii actually raises a family, gets stuck in traffic and works for a living. We do. Well, not me specifically, but some people do work for a living here.
» Bush Wacked: Speaking of vacations, it's OK for presidential candidates to go on vacation, but George Bush has got to stop going on vacation as long as the country is at war. He's hanging out at his Texas ranch this week, clearing brush, punching cows and wrestling dogies while American soldiers are putting their lives at risk a half a world away. Try to imagine yourself as president while your country is at war and you simply decide to get up from behind the Oval Office desk and go on vacation. Outrageous. There should be a law that no president can go on vacation during wartime. For one thing, it will keep presidents from declaring war on violent acts, rather than on countries. You can't win a War on Terror anymore than you can win a War on Fear, Fright, Intimidation, Shock, Dismay or Horror.
» Don Ho Mystery: A friend went to Don Ho's birthday celebration last week at Don Ho's Island Grill and reported that his spirit was very much alive in the amazing array of entertainers who performed in his memory. A real chicken-skin affair, I'm told. Ho, who died last year, would have turned 70. So it's a good time to clear up a mystery posed in this space a few months ago. A reader asked for the name of the song Ho sang when he appeared as a guest on the "Jeannie Goes to Honolulu" episode of "I Dream of Jeannie." Reader Darryl Fukuji says he has the answer.
"I was still in elementary school," he said. "I'm sure the song was from Kui Lee and it was 'Days of My Youth.' " So we have to rely on Darryl's memory from the days of his youth.
Buy Charles Memminger's hilarious new book, "Hey, Waiter, There's An Umbrella In My Drink!" at island book stores or
online at any book retailer. E-mail him at
cmemminger@starbulletin.com