What the Heck? John Heckathorn

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It’s never too late to be a cover model

Last Monday, Generations Hawaii Magazine, aimed at those over 50, threw a party at Compadres, honoring three of its recent cover models -- Eddie Sherman, Haumea Ho and new UH football coach Greg McMackin.

McMackin won over the crowd by being soft-spoken and humble. "Quite a change from the last guy," said one attendee.

McMackin also brought along a football, signed by his entire coaching staff, to auction off, proceeds going to the Na Koa football club.

In spirited bidding, Eddie Sherman plunked down $350 for the ball. "Eddie, you hate football," said his friend Lisa Josephsohn.

"Don't know a forward pass from a guard," he said. He's giving the ball to Compadres' owner Ric Enos.

Quipped Josephsohn: "It's thanks for feeding him all these years."

Kini Popo still likes TV

Generations Hawaii Magazine is owned by Trade Publishing, whose president is 79-year-old Carl Hebenstreit.

Under the name Kini Popo, Hebenstreit was the first person in the state to go on television. On Dec. 1, 1952, he announced, "Hello, everybody. Welcome to the first official broadcast of KGMB-TV."

"When I'm on the verge of turning 80," he once promised me. "I'm going to go back on TV." Name of the show? "Going 80."

"I did do a pilot," said the ever-sharp Hebenstreit. "Didn't like it. Looked to me like a 79-year-old guy desperately trying to remember his lines."

Premature Celebration

On Aug. 18, the Centerville, Ohio, public library is holding a luau -- to celebrate Hawaii's 50 years of statehood.

Nothing like a library luau, but this one seemed a bit early, like a year.

We called the Centerville Library -- and the librarian at the reference desk had no idea what we were talking about.

We were transferred to Amanda Purkey in Youth Services. The luau was for kids, she said, featuring a hula hoop contest, a limbo challenge and face painting. No kalua pig, maybe a few snacks

"The library wanted to do a program for the end of the summer," Purkey explained. "We noticed that Hawaii's 50th year of statehood was coming up."

We broke the news -- Hawaii won't have its 50th statehood anniversary until next year.

"Oh," she said.

"We didn't mean to burst your bubble," we told her.

"Well, you kind of did," said Purkey.

Row Row Row Your Bar

Dave Stewart (Indigo, Bar 35, Du Vin) can scent a trend miles off. You knew a recession was coming when, months ago, he abandoned plans to open Rhumba, his Caribbean-inspired Chinatown nightspot.

Perhaps there's hope on the horizon. Stewart's back in the game. He's just become as he puts it, "a very small part owner" (with Alan Beall and Al and Jane Sieverts) of the Row Bar in Restaurant Row.

"I'm part of the team," he says, with plans to spruce up the place with a Balinese theme and rename it Bambu's.

Saving the Planet

The Aveda Salon & Spa at Ala Moana Center was looking for a man to try out its new green facial. "We just want to see how you react," they said.

Good news: a green facial does not turn your face green. It involves creams, serums and potions made with lady's thistle, organic argan oil, bio-fermented glucosamine and buckwheat wax. This stuff is not only "clinically proven" to make your face look better, but it also makes it more ecofriendly. It's the Prius of facials.

Cosmetologist Lani Garrett, set about steaming, slathering and massaging my face into ecofriendly shape. In a darkened room, with New Age music playing, the hardest part for me was staying awake. "Most people can't," said Garrett.

Perhaps it would help if we talked. I searched for topics of mutual interest. Books were a non-starter. After we both agreed Bob Marley was great, music was pretty much exhausted. TV? I didn't know enough about "Project Runway" to sustain an in-depth conversation.

Food? Ms. Garrett had breakfasted that morning on a waffle covered with strawberries and whipped cream, with hot chocolate, more whipped cream. "I love sweets," said the Size 2 young lady.

We took turns describing our favorite desserts, dishes like Auntie Pasto's tiramisu or Le Bistro's classic tarte tatin.

"This is the most entertaining facial I've ever done," said Garrett, giving my face a final peppermint spritz, while lovingly describing the four spoons of creme brulee at Alan Wong's.

"You OK?" she asked.

Oh, the facial. I felt fine, my sense of gender identity intact, my skin looking better, I thought (though the human capacity for self-deception in matters like this is almost unbounded).

Writers on the move

The Maui Writers Conference is, you may have heard, on Oahu this year. There's a "retreat" starting Aug. 22 and the main conference Labor Day weekend.

Why not Maui? Founder John Tullius won't say anything except: "Oahu is where the people are."

Word is that the event, which draws hundreds of would-be bestselling authors, ran into financial nastiness with Maui resorts. "Maui thought it didn't need the business," says one Valley Isle insider. "This year they're crying."

Anyway, to show Oahu a good time -- "to prove we're not a bunch of carpetbaggers," notes Tullius -- the conference is planning a major free public event.

Among the A-List screenwriters and directors attending is Bobby Moresco ("Crash," "Million Dollar Baby). Moresco's latest film is "Kings of Appletown," written by his daughter Amanda. Its first worldwide screening will be at Sunset on the Beach Aug. 30 -- presuming it gets an OK from the Oahu Film Office.

Films at Sunset on the Beach have to be squeaky clean, though that probably won't be a problem, since the film is being cut in hopes of a PG rating.