Inmates’ kids picture better lives

ProjectFocus helps at-risk children restore frayed relationships and develop hope

» Focus turns to moms in prison

ten-year-old Chloe Okemura jumped on her mother's bed in the prison dormitory, complaining about the level of comfort.

On the Net » www.projectfocushawaii.com » reawakeningforwomen.org

"They don't want you to get too comfy," said her mother, Tawny. "This is just one of the reasons that you never want to come to jail."

Mother and daughter looked at an album of photos of Chloe with Tawny's four other children. They laughed, giggled and snuggled as they played outside, with Tawny pretending to swing Tarzan-like on some vines in the garden as Chloe snapped photographs.

From afar, they appeared to be part of a typical family. But Tawny is serving time in the Women's Community Correctional Facility and was enjoying a brief and uncommon visit Saturday with her young daughter.

Tawny and Chloe are participants in ProjectFocus, a program where at-risk children take photographs of significant people in their lives; this particular session is intended to strengthen the mother-child bond as they go through the project together.

When it was time to say goodbye, Chloe clung to her mother, knowing that she might not see her for a couple of months, on a prison-scheduled Kids' Day. The time apart is difficult for both mothers and children.

"It's really hard time for me to go," Chloe said. "I never saw her for a long time."

Patricia Ruiz didn't realize what she'd lost until she was incarcerated. "It took away my freedom and made me realize what I'd done is wrong," she said. "It took jail to make me realize that I wasn't a good mother to them."

Ruiz had a regular 9-to-5 job, but fell into drug dealing because it provided easy money. "We are not bad people, we just made bad choices," she said.

She's now moving through the stages of the Hina Mauka drug-rehabilitation program, studying for her General Educational Development exam and hoping to become a medical assistant.

"I choose to be a clean and sober mom," she said. "I've learned from my mistakes. It's been so hard to be away from my family. I choose to be the mother that I once was."

Ruiz's daughter Jocellyn, age 14, never doubted her mother's love, even though they have been separated for the past few years.

"She always comforts me," Jocellyn said. "She is always there for me, even in prison -- she always shows me how much she loves me and apologizes for being here."

Jocellyn got some shots of her mom studying her GED book, hanging out on her bunk and in the gloomy hallways.

This year's ProjectFocus effort involves the women's prison and TJ Mahoney & Associates' Ka Hale Ho'ala Hou Na Wahine, a program that helps women make the transition from prison back to the community. The group covers three stages of rehabilitation: prison, correctional halfway house (TJ's) and support once back in the community (Women in Need).

The photography project will cover all three settings, to demonstrate the contrast between those who've served their time and are trying to mend relationships with their children, and those still incarcerated with limited interaction with their children.

Deenie Tanele resides at the halfway house, where she participates in the work-furlough program and is trying to reconnect with her family after being incarcerated for the promotion of dangerous drugs. "This is my third and last time in prison," she said. "I wish I was introduced to a better life at a younger age."

Mahina 'Tu 'Mai Tanele, Tanele's 12-year-old daughter, was at the facility to photograph her mother. "I have to get to know her all over again," Tanele said, noting that she's had only about two years with her daughter, and even those times were sporadic. "I'd just pop in and out of her life."

Tanele definitely does not want her daughter to travel down the same path. Growing up in Kuhio Park Terrace, Tanele hid her feelings and never asked for help, she explained.

After the long absence from her daughter's life, Tanele is having trouble slowly easing her way back in. "I can't come out thinking that I'm the boss. My family took really good care of her. I need to ease my way back into her life."

Often, the transition out of prison can be difficult, especially for children who have lived under the care of others.

Both mother and daughter were able to reflect on these issues in questionnaires they completed as a part of the ProjectFocus process. Tanele doesn't want to dwell on the past. She hopes to obtain a degree in social work and open a program that provides extended support services for women who have been incarcerated.

"I felt sad that a bad person in my life was my mom. And, I felt sad when I would go out and see my friends spending time with their moms," said Mahina 'Tu 'Mai.

"Now, I'm proud of my mom because she accomplished her jail time. ProjectFocus will help a lot, too," she added. "I know she has learned her lesson. It will be easy to rebuild our relationship now that we can spend time together."

Mahina 'Tu 'Mai has learned some life lessons along the way, as well. "I've learned not to take advantage of life. ... I need to make the right choices. My mom has inspired me to become a better person and not to depend on everyone else."

Larson Medina, recreation specialist for the women's prison, agreed to allow the inmates to participate in ProjectFocus for a number of reasons, including the bonding experience for the families and the educational experience for the children, who also are learning the art of photography.

"The writing part is key, too," Medina said. "The kids write about how they feel about their mom ... and the moms do the same. "It's a win-win-win situation all the way around."