Help me, MAMA!

A new support group helps attorney-moms find balance in life

Tamara Gerrard had a flourishing law career, but two years after she made partner at Torkildson Katz Moore & Hetherington, she learned she was pregnant with triplets. Maintaining the "do it all" attitude, she decided to juggle both demanding responsibilities.

MAMA Honolulu RSVP for events by e-mail: mamahonolulu@gmail.com. » Membership: $25 per year, $10 students » Brown Bag Sessions: Held on the first Monday of each month. "Maternity and Family Care Leave" is next Monday's topic. » Social Event: "Games and Crafts with the Family," 2 to 3 p.m. March 8, Kapiolani Park » Online: Visit www.mamahonolulu.org.

"I'm baffled by the dropout rate of women lawyers. Once a woman has a child, the assumption is that she will quit practicing law or work a reduced schedule," said Gerrard. "There is no similar expectation for women who have chosen careers in other fields like teaching, which can be just as demanding."

Ghita Harris-Newton targeted this problem when she founded Mother Attorneys Mentoring Association -- to help find the balance needed to raise her 3-year-old twins, plus the baby she's expecting in May, and continue practicing law.

MAMA Honolulu, modeled after MAMAS in Seattle, offers monthly brown-bag lunches and quarterly weekend outings for moms and kids. The organization is open to all attorney mothers, whether they are working moms, stay-at-home moms or law students -- expecting a first child or sending their kids off to college.

The brown-bag lunches allow for networking, Harris-Newton said. And because sessions are held during the workday, "It doesn't sacrifice time away from the kids."

Attorney mothers also face unique professional demands, such as long work hours, pressure to generate business and network, and difficult travel schedules, Harris-Newton said. "It's helpful to talk to other women. ... It's refreshing to get new ideas, get tips and pick up strategies."

The group's first Brown Bag Session, held Feb. 4, focused on "Practical Tips to Make Life Simpler."

One panelist, U.S. Magistrate Judge Leslie Kobayashi, offered tips on spending quality time with children. "Pick something that you really want to do with your kids. Limit activities. ... Otherwise you are running around doing a million things," she said. She also suggested scheduling dates with husbands or making time to hang out with girlfriends.

Loretta Sheehan, an assistant U.S. attorney, stressed finding ways to be joyful, not just stressed out and overworked. "You are always modeling for your kids," she explained.

"For me the most helpful tip at the luncheon was the reminder that we should strive to convey to our children that life is filled with joy," Gerrard said. "Embracing the day's tasks as an opportunity for growing together as a family is critical."

Survival Tips Offered during Mother Attorneys Mentoring Association's first Brown Bag Session, from Coralie Chun Matayoshi: » Don't cook tomorrow what you can freeze today. Triple recipes and freeze batches in portions. » Train your kids. Have them help with cooking and chores from an early age. Keep praising them and make it fun. » Set early bedtimes. This gives you more time to relax at night and get ready for the next day. » Use a master calendar. Mark all family activities and note parents' work obligations that affect kids' schedules.