Tech View John Agsalud

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You can’t always get what you want, even at Christmas

Well, it's Christmas Day, and by the time you read this, the presents have been unwrapped, and the eggnog has started flowing.

Instead of the old days of assembling presents with batteries and simple tools like screwdrivers, hacksaws, and hammers, nowadays, many gifts require software configuration, new joysticks, and the plugging in of cables that don't quite fit. So you know what you and your loved ones got. We, however, got an advance look at Santa's list, and were able to find out what kind of tech-related presents a whole host of tech celebs (and some not so-tech celebs) got.

Just as important, we also found out what they didn't get.

» Steve Jobs didn't get any back-dated stock options. But he did get all the iTunes he wanted.

» Unlike 2005, members of the Hewlett-Packard board of director's did not receive holiday greetings from long-lost cousins inquiring about their whereabouts, cell phone numbers, or Social Security numbers.

» Michelle Wie didn't get a Nintendo Wii under the tree. She got a Sony PlayStation3 instead.

» U.S. Sen. Ted Stevens of Alaska did not get a copy of "Internet for Dummies." Apparently it got stuck in some tubes somewhere.

» Al Gore did not get a copy of Powerpoint 2007. He was not inconvenienced by this in the slightest.

» Founders of youtube.com did not get clothes this year. They don't need clothes anyway, they're too busy rolling around naked in big piles of money.

» Speaking of youtube, Michael Richards got the youtube award for "best idiot video posted." Mel Gibson lucked out; the cops weren't allowed to post his video.

» Brian Ching didn't get a free subscription to ESPN Mobile. The cell phone service apparently was only used by gamblers itching to know how much money they lost, and is being shut down due to a low subscriber count. Guess Brian will have to make do with the MLS MVP award.

» Radio Shack employees, who were laid off by e-mail earlier this year, got a conciliatory message from their employer, wishing them the best during the holiday season. Unfortunately all of the messages were flagged as spam and never delivered.

Mele kalikimaka e hauoli makahiki hou!

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