Maybe Elvis could help draw a crowd

SO again, attendance. Can Hawaii crack 35,000 tonight at Aloha Stadium? Thirty? Would either figure be "good"? Do we even know anymore? Is the standard different now?

After these last few seasons, is our perspective on this completely out of whack?

(For example, if the attendance hits either of the above benchmarks tonight -- and if it doesn't it's officially time to panic, sirens, the Emergency Broadcast System, everything -- how many "told you so's" will we hear?)

If it works tonight -- Military Night -- are 2 for 1s the answer every week? (I still think there should be "Jerry Glanville's Tickets for Elvis Night" -- anyone who comes dressed as the King gets in free. Takin' care of business, baby. Thank you. Thank you very much.)

And how do premium-paying season-ticket holders feel about this?

June Jones, this Monday, on attendance:

"I am not disappointed because I know that we're the most-watched thing in this state and like I said a few minutes ago at Na Koa, there's 10,000 people an average of six people per TV, that's 60,000 people watching us at home. No telling how many internationally on the Internet. And 22,000 or whatever, 29,000 at the stadium, whatever. We're still the No. 1 show in town and that's not going change. And no matter what anybody says I know that's the way it is. We get more hits than anything in the newspapers, we get more hits than anything on the Internet at the office. Our awareness of who we are is the highest it's ever been here. And whether you feel that way or not, that's your opinion, but that's my opinion."

A reader, this week, on attendance:

"Anytime UH can play teams from the Pac-10 and Big Ten, you will find me at the stadium. These are teams from prestigious conferences and I will always make an effort to attend these games. Sure wish you made a more positive pitch for the last two games of the 2006 season. ... But I think you are on the mark about attendance. Lucky if 30,000 turn up for the Nevada game. Too bad. ... Regarding attendance, it will take a concerted effort to turn around game attendance to levels of the '90s. Right now the football gurus have no clue about the fans and why they are not turning out as in years past. Go 'Bows."

Maybe the military will come through and Hawaii gets a miracle tonight. And if so, UH would need another one the next time. And the next time. No miracle? It's officially an emergency.

I say call in Elvis. He's never failed us. He's the King. Leave tickets for Elvis, and watch the fools rush in.

Kalani Simpson can be reached at ksimpson@starbulletin.com