Beyond words

Visceral acoustics and vibrant costumes rank high among the sensory delights of Merrie Monarch hula

Words fail me. Not an easy admission for someone paid to string them together in a logical order. But the Merrie Monarch Hula Festival is such a visual and musical extravaganza that writing about it coherently is an exercise in futility. But we roll this boulder uphill every year, don't we?

It's a profoundly visual and sensual experience, and descriptions do not do it justice. If you're used to seeing the event on television -- and KITV's annual coverage is generally first rate -- you're missing out on two pleasures:

First is the quality of the sound and the music. Television does not come close to the roaring, primal sound reflected off the soaring, barreled arch of the performance center. Perhaps it should be telecast coupled with an FM signal. The musicianship is fabulous. Even though these are some of Hawaii's best-known players down in the pit, they seem positively inspired.

The other thing that you fall in love with, oddly, is the incredible richness of the fabrics used in the costumes. There are amazing colors and sheens, textures and drapings. The texture simply has to be felt. Dresses are engineered for maximum swirliness, to flounce out and reveal contrasting petticoat colors and move "naturally" when dancing.

Yeah, words are slippery things when it comes to getting across a texture. Grabbing lucklessly for more descriptive language for costumery, I see that my notes often describe dresses as "beauty-queen pageant gowns." That's pretty pathetic.

One was a classic white holoku dress with shoulder fringe, probably pretty daring in the 1890s. Yes, it also revealed the women's ankles.

Some halau shredded and packed the ti so finely that it behaved like a flowing sea around the hips. Others used prints and brocades to such a fine degree that the dancers were as precious as gift packages. You're generally safe with purple, browns and greens, and elastic waistbands are "de rigueur."

These are the things that cross your mind when the finer elements of hula elude you. Watch the feet? But seriously -- there should be awards for musicianship and costume design as well. Everyone involved is at the peak of their abilities, so why not?

At the beginning and end, here comes the train! Conch shell blowers announce the solemnity of the "Royal Court," a re-enactment of the pomp and circumstance of Kalakaua's reign, and the only part of the Merrie Monarch festival to survive unchanged from the first one 43 years ago.

As for the hula performances themselves, the format is generally as engraved as the minute-and-a-half song arc of "American Idol" -- that is, experience informs maximum audience reaction. In a hula competition, it's a dramatic entrance, a chanted come-on, a tease of coming attractions, then the pahu drums start thumping and the production launches into high energy -- the audience whoops, invariably -- and this goes on for a while, sometimes with maintained intensity, sometimes with rhythmic dynamics, and then it seems to end, and afterward a coda develops, and then the troupe files out, often with a saucy fillip as the last grass skirt makes a final swoosh.

Deviations from this format tend to stand out, as they were intended to. Were the ancient Hawaiians actually sticklers for such rigidly synchronized choreography? One criterion for judging is the "oneness" of each halau, how they function in tandem as a smoothly linked machine. It can be very Las Vegas at times. The trick is to not turn it into cirque de hula.

Occasionally, judge Frank Hewett would get up and wander like Capt. Queeg, apparently making sure the lines of dancers were aligned with each other. Maybe next year he'll use a laser level. The trick is to be in unison without seeming robotically programmed.

Each halau gets approximately seven minutes to do its thing, the length of an "in-depth" TV news segment, accepted as the average viewer's maximum attention span.

What is there to chant about, anyway? The daily soap opera of ancient Hawaiian life, composed of feudin' and fightin' and good lovin', the lucky-you-live-here litany of place names and climatic conditions. You write about what you know, even the gossipy stuff.

Live and in person, you discover that many of the dancers are middle-age, which is rather cool. You also discover that announcer Kimo Kahoano can be a terrible scold during station breaks: "If you want to use your cameras and videos, go back to your hotel room, turn on the TV and shoot all you want! You're" -- exasperated snort -- "unbelievable!"

But the next night, he's all, "What a good audience you are! Thank you very much!"

The black-garbed KOA Puna security patrols take their job very seriously, threatening those who dare to move during a performance, even backstage.

Speaking of backstage, I'm jealous. The Edith Kanaka'ole Tennis Stadium is a terrific, elegant piece of architecture with great acoustics. We don't have such a structure on Oahu. It's lit for TV and it's presented in the round, which means that in every direction, you're staring into eyeball-searing banks of hot lights, set up like those nighttime road construction sites.

There's a Broom Squad to sweep up flowery debris onstage between performances. The seats are all lashed together with pull-ties.

Despite the fearsome rep of some kumu, many are friendly and open, and some -- Aloha Dalire comes to mind -- are downright precious.

It's a party atmosphere, with lots of air kisses and upper-body hugging and spocking out the comp.

During the day, girls are seen in tight-tight braids and cornrows -- that because they want to get the kinks in. Hair is part of the look -- there are no bobs or pageboys or shags. It's all Cousin It, wild women of Wongo, great sheets of poofy hair like hirsute waterfalls. Many have hair to their calves, something that, when combined with wrist leis, guarantees a tangle ahead.

At any rate, the solemnity of purpose, the promlike sense of dress-up, the heightened emotion, the sheer excitement -- it makes these hula girls adorable beyond compare.

Ha'ena mai ...

Winners’ List If you notice a special glow about the mountains of Kohala, where the newest land on Earth has just begun to settle down, it might be the ladies of Na Lei O Kaholoku, who fielded not only Miss Aloha Hula, but also were the overall winner of the 2006 Merrie Monarch Festival. It was a level playing field for wahine entrants, with multiple tiebreakers and scores that didn't vary by more than a few points. Na Lei O Kaholoku, headed by kumu Nani Lim Yap and Leialoha Amina, amassed 1,194 points, just enough to win. The halau also won the Wahine Overall, while Halau Hula 'O Kawaili'ula from Kailua, featuring the return of kumu Chinky Mahoe, took the overall men's division. Overall Lokalia Montgomery Perpetual Trophy Na Lei O Kaholokii; Kohala; kumu Nani Lim Yap and Leialoha Amina Wahine Overall 1. Na Lei O Kaholokii; Kohala; kumu Nani Lim Yap and Leialoha Amina (1,194 points) 2. Hula Halau O Kamuela; Waimanalo/Kalihi; kumu Kau'i Kamana'o and Kunewa Mook (1,193 points) 3. Halau o ke 'A'ali'i Ku Makani; Kaneohe; kumu Manu Boyd (1,190 points; tiebreaker 1,662 points) HULA 'AUWANA 1. Ka Leo O Laka I Ka Hikina O Ka La; Honolulu; kumu Kaleo Trinidad (605 points) 2. Na Lei O Kaholokii; Kohala; kumu Nani Lim Yap and Leialoha Amina (603 points, tiebreaker 845 points) 3. Hula Halau O Kamuela; Waimanalo/Kalihi; kumu Kau'i Kamana'o and Kunewa Mook (603 points, tiebreaker 841 points) 4. Halau o ke 'A'ali'i Ku Makani; Kaneohe; kumu Manu Boyd (600 points) 5. Halau Mohala 'Ilima; Kaohao; kumu Mapuana de Silva (597 points) HULA KAHIKO 1. Na Pualei 'O Likolehua, Honolulu; kumu Leina'ala Heine (597 points) 2. Halau Mohala 'Ilima; Kaohao; kumu Mapuana de Silva (591 points, tiebreaker 830 points) 3. Na Lei O Kaholokii; Kohala; kumu Nani Lim Yap and Leialoha Amina (591 points, tiebreaker 827 points) 4. Hula Halau O Kamuela; Waimanalo/Kalihi; kumu Kau'i Kamana'o and Kunewa Mook (590 points, tiebreaker 827 points) 5. Halau o ke 'A'ali'i Ku Makani; Kaneohe; kumu Manu Boyd (590 points, tiebreaker 826 points) Kane OVERALL 1. Halau Hula 'O Kawaili'ula; Kailua; kumu Chinky Mahoe (1,174 points) 2. Ka Leo O Laka I Ka Hikina O Ka La; Honolulu; kumu Kaleo Trinidad (1,170 points) 3. Ka Pa Hula O Ka Lei Lehua; Nanakuli; kumu Snowbird Bento (1,137 points) HULA KAHIKO 1. Halau Hula 'O Kawaili'ula; Kailua; kumu Chinky Mahoe (589 points) 2. Ka Pa Hula O Ka Lei Lehua; Nanakuli; kumu Snowbird Bento (580 points) 3. Ka Leo O Laka I Ka Hikina O Ka La; Honolulu; kumu Kaleo Trinidad (568 points) 4. Halau Ke Kia'i A 'O Hula; Kapalama; kumu Kapi'olani Ha'o HULA 'AUWANA KANE 1. Ka Leo O Laka I Ka Hikina O Ka La; Honolulu; kumu Kaleo Trinidad (602) 2. Halau Hula 'O Kawaili'ula; Kailua; kumu Chinky Mahoe (585 points) 3. Halau Na Pua Kukui; Honolulu; kumu Ed Collier (574 points) 4. Ka Pa Hula O Ka Lei Lehua; Nanakuli; kumu Snowbird Bento (557 points)