DENNIS ODA / DODA@STARBULLETIN.COM A group of retirees performs on Fort Street Mall on Tuesdays and Thursdays. They include Santiago Bartolome (bongos), Albert Maielua (ukulele), Walter Oba (guitar), Derrick Mau (steel guitar), Plymouth Vaefaga (guitar), Paul Lopez (guitar), Joseph Wilcox (guitar) and Kimo "The Dancer" Clark, who improvises during the jam sessions.

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Fort Street Boys
are true ‘old school’

Retired school bus driver Paul Lopez, like a couple others in the band, arrives in an electric "mobility scooter," prescribed by his doctor. At 73, his legs "don't like work anymore." He plugs in his electric bass and hatbox-size amplifier into outlets designed to light up the mall's trees at Christmas. His mike feeds through the group's mixing board. Soon he's rocking through an old Wilbert Harrison tune called "Kansas City."

For ukulele player Walter Oba, playing Fort Street is "therapy," better for his health than the dialysis he submits to three days a week.

Featured vocalist and guitar player Joseph Wilcox is legally blind. He's the only full-time musician, with a self-produced CD, "It's About Time."

The youngest member of the group at 47, Derrick Mau tremolos through the classic "Sleepwalk" on his pedal steel. He's got a night job as a bartender at the Moana, but he's here because he's been playing only three years. "I learn from these guys."

Guitarist Plymouth Vaefaga, awaiting knee replacement surgery, feels the same. "I used to play too fast; these guys are Old School."

The band plays everything from "Kamana Wai Wai" to the theme from "The Jeffersons" TV show, "Movin' On Up."

"Movin' On Up" brings out the best in Kimo "I'm Just the Dancer" Clark, gray-bearded, with a shirt on which he's written "Rockin' Old Daddy."

Clark spins round his umbrella, hooks his foot in a tree, lands on one knee atop his feather-banded hat.

The lunchtime crowd strides by with barely a glance. A trio of HPU coeds breaks momentarily into dance steps in imitation of Rockin' Old Daddy.

Larry Coleman, a retired federal employee, stops, hangs around for a few tunes. "This is great. It reminds me of Waikiki in the early '70s. We've lost this."

The Fort Street Boys play for nothing. Their permit forbids even a tip jar. "We play for the elderly and disabled," says bassist Lopez.

"That's why he plays," says the group's leader, Albert Maielua, who, now retired, still wears his Blaisdell Arena maintenance aloha shirt. "I play to play."

Byte Me: On local Web site HawaiiThreads.com, the online opinionizers were roughing up new KHUI morning DJ Tiny Nitro Tadani -- for replacing Mahlon Moore, for dressing up his son as a Sierra Mist can at the Na Hoku awards, that kind of thing. Tadani, a feisty guy, went online himself, upbraiding his critics for their lack of a proper relationship with the Lord. "Stop satisfying Satan," he told one opponent (screen name LikaNui). Replied LikaNui: "You've met my ex-wife, then?"

New Fodder: Oahu and Maui restaurateur Aaron Placourakis are near inking a deal to take over the Hyatt Regency Maui's restaurant-as-stage-set, the Swan Court. Plack used to be a man-about-town, a Corvette on each island. He's fallen victim to domesticity, with a new son. "Last wife, last baby," he vows.

FOR WEEKS, Betty Pang shuttered her Chinatown eatery, Green Door, because she couldn't cook with a broken arm. She celebrated the first day out of her cast by comping every customer's meal.

Transplant: Lenny Klompus, playing the lead in the Army Community Theatre's "Guys and Dolls," made clear going in that he'd miss the last weekend of the run -- something to do with his day job as the gov's communications guru. There was much pressure on Jimmy Borges to step in, but the veteran songster was a reluctant thespian. To the rescue rode media M.D. Dr. Kalani Brady, who did the role in '97 and will reprise it with one rehearsal.

Sweet Notes: Last week, the Brothers Cazimero played at Wolf Trap, the national park for the performing arts, near D.C. Neil Abercrombie joined 100 UH alumni for pre-concert bentos. Sen. Daniel Akaka jumped on stage for a rendition of "Ka Makani Ka'ili Aloha." How was it? "You can drive a truck through his vibrato," says Robert Cazimero. "But any time Uncle Danny wants to sing, you'd never say no."

IT'S SUPPOSED to be a secret, but don't blame me, Tony Conjugacion spilled it from the stage of the Kauai Falsetto Festival. Singer Amy Hanaiali'i Gilliom is now Hapai-ali'i, expecting with fiancée John Austin, owner of Hanalei's Tahiti Nui lounge.

What the Heck: If no one could afford the price of gas last week, how come traffic was as bad as ever?