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Listen to your prospect
for clues to use

Have you ever felt like you were talking to a brick wall when communicating with someone you know?

Whether you are showing someone a strategy, or delivering an elaborate power-point presentation, if you think you've presented your case perfectly, yet you are being met with a blank stare, you just might be communicating the wrong way.

Case study

Katrina is a sales representative for a large insurance firm in Texas. She came highly recommended and graduated at the top of her class. Yet her supervisor, Susan, doesn't understand why Katrina's sales aren't as high as her peers.

Susan decided to send Katrina home with a stack of books, all about closing tactics. However, since Katrina has always been primarily an auditory learner, she does best when she hears a strategy taught to her, rather than reading it in a book.

If Susan had given her an audio book or DVD on sales, Katrina would have been able to tune in better, and be in harmony with her supervisor's goals.

To discover if your team member or prospect has an auditory language pattern, you can pose the feedback question, "Do you hear what I'm saying?" or "Does that sound good?" If her response sounds something like, "Yes. That rings true!" you'll know you've tuned in to her preferred style, and are coming through loud and clear.

Take action!

The better you are at identifying the language pattern a person prefers, the more you can assure yourself of long-term success. Adapting your style to their pattern is not about being "phony." It is merely about accommodating another person's preference in order to allow the conversation to continue.

As your relationship progresses, the other person will get to know you better. People will accept others who are different from themselves -- as long as they trust the other person in the relationship.

On the other hand, if you turn someone off within the first few minutes of your introduction, because you were communicating "out of style," you will have lost him or her forever.

One teacher from Kaimuki Middle School contacted me, very excited about this seven-part series on language patterns, remarking, "This has huge implications for teachers!"

She's absolutely right. Whether you're a teacher, a resident adviser at Hawaii Pacific University, or you're a business owner, when you speak to people according to their preferred learning style, they'll hear what you're saying.

This is the secret of getting your point across quickly -- and influencing those around you -- for everyone's benefit.