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Slob-Sawyer II:
Can you handle
the truth?

Last week I personally apologized to BraTomKatElina (unforgettable superstars Brad Pitt, Tom Cruise, that one that has "Kat" in her name somewhere and Angelina Jolie) because the entertainment media continue to gnaw a pound of flesh off them only because it couldn't get its teeth into me first.

And, in a continued show of celebrity solidarity, I'm printing the last half of my un-aired interview for Primetime Live below. Aside from the fact that they only come to me wearing angel wings when I'm heavily sedated on doctor-prescribed medication, it's eerie how similarly these journalism jackals operate on all of us.

(Diane Sawyer voiceover: At mid-interview, the tension in Curt's home was as thick as the dust on his Homer Simpson collectible plate -- so we took a break, to rebuild trust off camera. I let him have Teri Hatcher's cell number, we shared a Hot Pocket, and then restarted our conversation).

Diane: So, Curt, what's this new thing in your life that's got you so pumped?

Curt: Well, yes, there's something that happened. I ... just got a new iMac -- woohoo! (standing up, punching the air).

D: Wow, you are excited.

C: I can't be laid back about it -- this is one special computer. YEAAAH! (jumping on futon, then jumping down).

D: Be careful! I didn't know Digital Slobs had that kind of vertical leap, or even ever vertically leapt, for that matter.

C: Woohoo! Woohoo! (jumping back on futon, arms up).

D: (Laughing) OK, I heard something crack that time. Your back, maybe, or a slat in the futon -- either way I think coming down is a good idea!

C: OK, OK. I just celebrate that and I want to share it with people.

D: How did you two meet?

C: At an Apple store a couple months ago. My life's been a blur since -- I made arrangements to close off the Eiffel Tower to the public, just so I could see it up there at sunset. Then I knew, I just knew.

D: Wow, that must've been an amazing moment up there for you, personally.

C: Yeah ... well, no, I actually had an online buddy in France take one up there and then he e-mailed me a photo. I usually don't leave this room unless there's an emergency of some kind.

D: OK, fair enough. But how do you feel when people say Mac users are radical, cultish?

C: (Staring intently) No one's ever said that to me. Do we need to stop again and eat another Hot Pocket?

D: Please no! Let's go to your pet cause, global connectivity.

C: Yes. This generation could be the one that lives to see the whole world connected. I often say that soon even penguins at the North Pole will be able to keep up with their cousins in the South. Just think. I mean, "wow."

D: Actually, my producer is in my ear telling me there are no penguins at the North Pole.

C: (Shuffling) Well, of course not -- not now. But I'm sure many would relocate if they could stay in touch with friends and family, if they had the same technology, I might add, that allows your producer to instantly check "penguins" on Wikipedia.com, and then butt in here with his "corrections."

D: Uh-huh. I think the penguins thing is common knowledge, but I get your point.

C: You have to dare to dream, Debra.

D: Diane.

C: Dare to dream.