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Anonymous crybaby
should lose his shirt

Some anonymous crybaby has filed a complaint with the Honolulu Ethics Commission charging that City Prosecutor Peter Carlisle is selling shirts and hats with the prosecutor's office logo out of his office.

First of all, who cares? Second, the mystery complainant is obviously some weasel who either was successfully prosecuted by Carlisle for a crime or plans to run against him in the next election. Or both.

I've known Peter Carlisle for years and I'll tell you, the only thing he can be accused of doing wrong is sending out weird Christmas cards. (The one in which he and his family posed wearing coconut bikini tops was particularly unsettling.)

As far as selling prosecutor office logo wear, I don't get it. Just like I don't get the selling of clothes with logos from Honolulu police, firefighters and lifeguards. It seems to me that in these times of terror alerts (I believe we are on Alert Level Chartreuse) the only people allowed to wear law enforcement, firefighting and rescue outfits should be cops, rescuers and firefighters.

Now the news ...

Hit-and-runover again

GASTONIA, N.C. (AP) » A police officer responding to the emergency call of a man struck by a car accidentally ran over the victim with his cruiser.

Investigators are uncertain whether the victim was already dead when he was struck a second time by the police car.

(But the second hit certainly didn't do him any good.)

Teen sick of Spanish

OLATHE, Kan. (AP) » A high school student who vomited on his teacher has been charged with battery against a school official.

Authorities said the 17-year-old boy deliberately threw up on the teacher but the boy's father said he had become uncontrollably ill by the stress of final exams.

(How do you say "Ralph" in Spanish?)

Tourist grouper netted

SYDNEY, Australia (AP) » Customs officials arrested a woman at the Melbourne airport who arrived from Singapore with 51 live tropical fish hidden inside her skirt.

Authorities became suspicious when they heard "flipping" noises from the vicinity of the woman's waist. They found 15 plastic water-filled bags holding the fish.

(Various fish-related clichés come to mind which we shall endeavor to ignore.)

Honolulu Lite on Sunday

Suspicion is rising that motorized scooters, midget motorcycles and gas-powered pogo sticks actually are products developed by a secret cabal of personal injury lawyers.

Quote Me On This (Division of Bible Thumpers):

"I have spent a lot of time searching through the Bible for loopholes." -- W.C. Fields

"The Bible tells us to love our neighbors and also to love our enemies, probably because they are generally the same people." -- G.K. Chesterton

"The Bible tells us to forgive our enemies, not our friends." -- Margot Asquith