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State justices close doors
on the needy

Hawaii is considered a progressive state which prides itself on looking out for the needs and concerns of the less fortunate. But a recent state Supreme Court decision shows that to be a hollow claim.

In a ruling of unprecedented disregard for the needs of needy, the high court ruled that island porno palaces must remove doors from peep show booths. These are places where poorer citizens, for just a few quarters, can find privacy and a few moments of refuge from the cruel outside world, while enjoying various adult cinematic presentations.

By removing the doors, you remove the privacy sought by these lonely, lowly and cash-strapped subjects.

These people, unlike Supreme Court justices or other well-heeled residents, don't have the luxury of viewing porno at home on pay-per-view or over the Internet. They have no DVD players on which to play exotic art films.

To take away the doors to their only refuge is to expose them to the harsh, hypocritical world and, frankly, expose us their private hobbies. For humanity's sake, shut the doors.

Now the news ...

Naked truth about rain

KATHMANDU, Nepal (AP) » More than 100 women danced naked in a remote mountainous village hoping the gods would be pleased and give them rain.

The women gathered at a local school, smeared their faces with black powder and danced to try to bring on the monsoon.

(The women danced partially nude earlier, but that resulted in only partly cloudy skies.)

A most muggable man

OBERHAUSEN, German (Ananova) » A German man who was mugged in a nightclub was mugged two more times waiting for police.

Reiner Hamer, 27, lost his wallet and cell phone in the club attack. While using an outside phone to call police, he was attacked by three men who took his watch and cigarettes. While recovering from that, he was robbed of his jacket and small change by more attackers.

(When police arrived, they beat him up and took his shoes on general principles.)

Devil's chair toppled

TAYLORS FALLS, Minn. (AP) » Vandals are suspected in the destruction of a natural tower of stone called the Devil's Chair, a rock formation considered the town's icon. All that was left was a pile of rubble.

"Everyone's a little ticked about it," said Don Doane, head of a group that takes care of the park where the Devil's Chair stood for many years.

(Most ticked, the vandals might find out, is the Devil himself.)

'Honolulu Lite' on Sunday

Are you confused about the sudden and bizarre raising of taxes, fees and assessments on virtually every part of life in Hawaii? No? Well read Sunday's "Honolulu Lite" and you will be.

Quote Me on This:

"I wasn't kissing your daughter, sir, I was just whispering into her mouth." -- Chico Marx