Kalani Simpson

We are the world,
we are the NBA

DO you want to talk about globalization creeping up on us? Take a look at the NBA Western Conference finals, Game 3 today. Of the five best players on the court, three are foreigners. It's true.

Why do you think the Phoenix Suns find themselves down 0-2 heading into this afternoon's game? What chance do they have, really? Steve Nash is surrounded by a bunch of Americans.

Just look at it. Not even Fox News could spin this away.

In this series, Nash, a Canadian, has been The Man. Or would have been, if not for the presence of Mr. Incredible, Manu Ginobili. An Argentinean.

Who's that making great passes, sinking dagger shots, dunking on any -- and everyone who gets in his way?

An Argentinean.

And then, his San Antonio teammate, Monsieur Tony Parker. Use your bad Jacques Cousteau accent here: Ho ho ho!

He's been brilliant, mon ami!

And Nash, of course, was MVP of the whole league. Or, as Allen Iverson would say, the M! V! P!

A Canadian!

What would Dr. Naismith say?

(Oops. He was Canadian, too.)

Luckily, at least we've got Tim Duncan, an all-American guy from ... the Virgin Islands.

Hey, the Virgin Islands are a U.S. territory, and the "rest of the world" can argue this all it wants -- eligible to vote in presidential elections or not, he's ours. (Throw me a bone here!)

Of course, the good thing about this is that the same thing will happen that always happens in sports -- everybody copies success. And so, as Nash comes up with highlight after highlight of dazzling derring-do, general managers throughout the league are yelling into cell phones: "Get out there and find me some Canadians!"

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

Four words: Carl English. Bidding war.

(He has to be the only one, yeah?)

As for me, I can't sit by and watch this any longer without doing something. On Monday, I plan on calling in sick and going out to shoot baskets. I hope you're with me. Don't let anyone deter you from this mission. Your country calls.

See the Columnists section for some past articles.

Kalani Simpson can be reached at ksimpson@starbulletin.com

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