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Love defines
Christian families

Tomorrow we celebrate Mother's Day, a day that our Orthodox Church in Honolulu calls Family Sunday.

Many of us might be wondering what a "Christian family" is and whether we have one. It is useful to meditate upon that question occasionally. And if we don't ask ourselves this question once in a while, perhaps we ought to.

Some of us might feel that the family we belong to is a failure. We might feel guilty about what we have done within our family, or angry as to what has been done to us or someone else. We conclude that whatever a Christian family is, we do not have one.

I know that many people feel they are failures in their roles within their families. Fathers believe that while they do a lot for their children, they do not do enough with them. Mothers believe they have not been smart enough or strong enough to care for their children as well as they might have. Sons believe they have not honored their parents as well as they might have. Daughters believe they have not helped as much as they should have. Siblings think they have not communicated as well as they could have. Whatever our family is, it arouses great emotions within us. And sad to say, for some, guilt and anger are as common as thinking of their family as a happy one.

Today, I want to say to you that the family, a good family, is defined by one thing and one thing mainly: It is defined by the love of God. God's love establishes a Christian family, and God's love maintains the Christian family. As long as we love, as long as we try to care for others as Christ cares for us, we are doing all that God asks of us. This is true whether we are married or divorced, single or widowed, young or old, whether we have or do not have children and whether we make mistakes or are as perfect as the man in the moon.

Jesus changed the definition of the family. He told us that there is only one family that counts, that is eternal and unchangeable and satisfying. He came to make us a part of the family of God.

This was made possible by the Virgin Mary, whom Orthodox Christians call Theotokos, the god-bearer. It is important on Mother's Day, in remembering our mothers, that we reflect on the mother of Christ. She is reverenced with high regard in both Eastern and Western Christian tradition. She is a human being who took on the loftiest role and bore Christ. She became for us the bridge from earth to heaven and the mother of us all. In Orthodox theology we pray for the Virgin Mary's intercession to her son, our Lord Jesus Christ.

A Christian family, a holy family, exists wherever a love like Christ's is shown. This is no matter the state of our household or the history we bear. The goodness we associate with our family at its finest moments during our childhood, the joy we have experienced, the communion we have felt, is still with us because God does not permit anything good to be lost. It comes when someone shows love to us. It comes when we show love to someone. God gives us each other as a family. He calls us together and says to us: As you love them, so you love me, and as you love me, so you love them.

We are together the children of God. We are together the family that God has made. And when we love others and, in that love, nurture and forgive others, when we respect and honor others and help them with their burdens, when we walk humbly with others and worship with others as Christ did these things, then we have everything that a person can have.

We are the family of God. Embrace your family, love your family and God will take care of the rest. I conclude with a salutation of Orthodox worship: "O Holy Mother of God, intercede to Christ Jesus for us for prayers that lead unto salvation." Happy Mother's Day to all!

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