Unusual accidents
will happen, dude

» 22 people injured from melting of nightwear, most of them men.

» 1,839 who fell out of trees.

» Four people bitten by venomous centipedes or spiders.

» A girl bitten by an alligator in her pajamas. (How he got in her pajamas, nobody knows.)

» A prince bitten by a venomous, dowdy duchess. (Wait, that was last week.)

This got me wondering about unusual accidents in Hawaii last year. Here's what I uncovered:

» 27 people injured in "poi-related accidents."

» Nine people hit by falling coconuts, all while shopping at one particular supermarket.

» One supermarket fruit and produce stock boy kicked in okole by manager and told to "knock it off with the coconuts."

» Three Waikiki prostitutes injured by bounced checks.

» Surfer beaten up by band of bruddahs for "excessive and gratuitous use of the word 'dude.'"

» Boy bitten by mongoose in his pajamas. (Authorities know how the mongoose got into his pajamas but aren't saying.)

» 4,534 drivers suffered simultaneous and continuous whiplash while following an SUV driver listening to conga music.

» 14 spiders and centipedes bitten by venomous children.

» One depressed yet confused man slightly injured after trying to kill himself by jumping off the Pali Golf Course.

» 23 people injured by marine life, mostly at the Kaneohe Marine Base. (How weird is that?)

» 38 voters hurt by falling hyperbole while touring the state Legislature.

» 29 participants in a Big Island New Age retreat suffered serious burns during "Increase Your Self-esteem and Confidence Barefoot Hot Lava Walk."

» Waikiki beach-goer suffered dangerous toxic lack of sunshine after wearing sunscreen SPF Level 4,000.

» Mongoose bitten by boy in his pajamas. (How the boy got in the mongoose's pajamas is under investigation.)