In numbers,
big discovery
really counts

Word that a German eye surgeon had discovered the world's largest prime number was met last week with widespread and deafening indifference by number-haters everywhere. Which just goes to show you that you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him solve pi to the 2,356th digit.

Being a lover of numbers (large, small, prime, rare, medium, well done ...) I got goose bumps when I heard that Dr. Martin Nowak had discovered a prime number with 7.8 million digits. Just think, 7.8 million digits! In the world of digits, that's a lot. Laid end to end they could reach to the moon and back several times or, shrunken, fit on the head of a pin. I was determined to talk to the great man to gain insight into his discovery. I placed a call to Michelfeld, Germany, where the doctor was sawing on an eyeball while talking to me.

Honolulu Lite: Please, doctor, tell us how you found the largest prime number in history.

Nowak: Is a big number. Kind of hard to miss. More than 7 million digits. Like, whoa, hello there, big fella!

HL: Tell us about prime numbers.

Nowak: Der prime numbers are der numbers that can only be divided by 1 and themselves. Der baby prime numbers are der 2, der 3, der 6, der 7. Like dat.

HL: Six can be divided by 3 and 2.

Nowak: Oh, yeah, forget about der 6. Der are many types of prime numbers: twins, Mersenne, primordial and der weirdest one, Sophie Germain.

HL: Sophie Germain?

Nowak: Ya. She was dis little tart, nasty girl, but fun, you know? And good wid der numbers, if you catch my drift.

HL: Have you discovered any other numbers?

Nowak: I have been discovering der biggest number in the world for sometime now, but der dummkopf dentist next door keep saying "plus 1." He can't even count der teeth in a head, but he keep making bigger numbers than me. Going to discover der really, really big number one day and show him.

HL: Did you win a prize for discovering the largest prime number so far?

Nowak: Sure. They give me der key chain, oon beer mug and two movie tickets.

HL: That's nice.

Nowak: Sure. But der really big money is in der pi. You find der big pi number you get steak dinner and der picture of Archimedes.

HL: Well, thanks for the time. Good luck on hunting interesting numbers.

Nowak: I found der cute one six weeks ago. Has 2,456,327 der number 8s. I named him Hans.

Charles Memminger, the National Society of Newspaper Columnists' 2004 First Place Award winner for humor writing, appears Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays. E-mail cmemminger@starbulletin.com

See the Columnists section for some past articles.

In numbers, big discovery really counts

In numbers,
big discovery
really counts