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Hawaii needs ‘hang 500’
surf record

HOW many humiliations must Hawaii suffer? First, we learn that a mainland university is in the forefront of research into how much alcohol Hawaii worms can tolerate. Another mainland college is coming up with new ways to wipe out cockroaches. Pretty soon we'll find out that mongooses are being used to cure cancer in Connecticut.

The ultimate humiliation came last week, when more than 40 Australians set the world record for the most people to surf on one surfboard. The board was about the size of the USS Missouri, and the surfers managed to ride a wave on the Queensland coast.

Hawaii is the birthplace of surfing. Hawaiians were riding waves while Australians were still riding kangaroos. We should own that title. I propose we beat the record by getting at least 50 people on one board at Waikiki Beach. Think of the publicity. With Diamond Head in the background, the photo of the record-breaking ride would appear in papers worldwide.

I CONTACTED a few surf shops to gauge interest.

"It shouldn't be that hard to do," said Eric Basta, manager of Surf N Sea in Haleiwa, adding there's a reason Hawaii surfers generally don't go for this kind of stunt.

"People who aren't in the surfing spotlight have to do outlandish things that we don't have to," he said. In other words, the waves of the fabled North Shore speak for themselves.

Nevertheless, he thinks Hawaii should hold the record, even if it is silly. "It's definitely doable," he said.

Annie Turner, warehouse manager at Blue Planet surf shop, agrees. "It totally makes sense. Hawaii should have that record," she said.

Eric and Annie are sounding out their surf-shop buddies to figure out how such a board could be built. It might take a collaboration between surf shops with state tourism agencies providing financial assistance. I've agreed to coordinate the effort if enough people get on board. (Get it? On board?)

But we'd better do it fast, before Connecticut beats us to it. Hang 500 (50 people, 10 toes each), dudes!