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Fallen Marine inspires
those he left behind

The shock was like a physical blow, when I learned of Lance Cpl. Michael L. Starr Jr.'s death on Jan. 26, in a helicopter crash in Iraq. For me, suddenly the headlines and the magazine pictures became horribly personal.

Michael L. Starr Jr.: Influenced others in life and in death

Suddenly, a young man who had shared with us his hopes, dreams and the grace of his presence was gone. The unfairness of life and chance had come into sharp focus; it was too soon for someone like Starr to leave us.

Starr was introduced to us by our daughter 2 1/2 years ago; a very young Marine just assigned to Hawaii who thought it would be "cool" to learn to surf. Assigned to Hawaii, far away from his home in Baltimore, he was quickly adopted into our family, and we gave him a place to call "home" away from home.

Hesitant at first, he soon became a regular weekend presence. He would always walk through the front door and greet us with his lilting "Hello."

We invited him over for dinners and holidays and weekends. He was always polite, courteous and respectful; we discovered he had strong family values that he strictly believed. He was always focused, and balanced in life. And we watched him grow as he was deployed twice to Asia, where he experienced both acceptance and hostility from host countries.

Nevertheless, he was very proud to be a Marine and always sought to learn new skills to be the best he could. Like most young adults, Starr enjoyed life, relishing each moment. Yet he was mature enough to plan for his future. He took the maximum savings deductions from his pay and saved whatever he had left at the end of each month.

Just before he went to Iraq, he bought a computer. Although he had fun surfing the net and sending e-mails, he quickly turned to using the Internet to search for job opportunities in anticipation of leaving the Marines. Soon he had secured a position as a Baltimore police officer. He was overjoyed. This young man was on his way to a solid career in his hometown.

Having served two overseas deployments and suffering injuries during training, Starr did not have to deploy to Iraq. But when the opportunity came, he took it immediately, saying that this was what he had trained for and that as a Marine, he was the best person for the job.

Since we learned of his death, I have been searching for comfort and an answer that will validate his life and put his loss in context. Two themes come most often to me:

While we go about our daily routines and deal with the relatively small hassles of our lives and jobs, there are soldiers risking their lives every minute, every day, in a very hostile battlefield.

There are also thousands of others who may not be on the front lines, but who still put themselves at risk from rocket and terrorist attacks. One of the most important resolutions that I have taken from Starr's death is that we show our appreciation that they have chosen a dangerous job and paced themselves in harm's way on our behalf.

I don't ever want to think that Starr died in vain. I have resolved to show that he made a difference in my life; that I should honor his sacrifice by being a better and more caring person. In a tiny way, I hope I can show he made a difference on this Earth.

To all those who volunteer to go in harm's way, mahalo and may God bless and protect each of you.

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