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‘North Shore’ washed up
and washed out

I remember the day when "Baywatch Hawaii" was canceled. I was a staff writer on the show and we were practically in mid-sentence when word came from the mainland to stop work. Just like that. We stood outside the writers' trailer at the Diamond Head studios thinking, "What the ..."

So it's with no joy that word comes that the plug is pulled on "North Shore." That's two shows down (along with "Hawaii") and one left ( "Lost").

But none of these shows originated in Hawaii. They are all mainland transplants. How about trying an actual local product next time? I hear there's a script for a great show about life on Schofield Barracks called "Army Brats" floating around. Hmmm. Wonder who the co-writer could have been ...

Now the news ...

Baby burglars busted

CHITTAGONG, Bangladesh (AP) » Four Bangladeshi infants accused of looting and causing criminal damage have appeared in court in their parents' arms. The four, ranging in age from three months to two years, were released after a hearing. The magistrate said the case did not appear to be genuine. Anyone can file criminal charges in Bangladesh and the procedure is frequently used to harass people.

(Then again, the tykes could not account for their whereabouts on the day in question. A lineup proved futile since all infants look like Winston Churchill.)

Ice concert not cool

STOCKHOLM, Sweden (AP) » A sculptor who created an orchestra of instruments from ice canceled his show at the last minute because he didn't like the sound of the musicians warming up.

The cancellation caused tempers to rise among guests in the 100-seat igloo concert hall.

"It was an insult to our city," said the head of the music school. "And an offense against the student musicians who have had only a few days to train on the instruments."

(The fact that all the musicians' lips and tongues were frozen stuck on the instruments didn't improve anyone's humor.)

A statue of limitations

PENTICTON, B.C. (AP) » The city's infamous naked statue, which had been spray-painted green after its penis had been knocked off, has been removed because of repeated vandalism.

The "Baggage Handler" statue, a naked man surrounded by 24 old suitcases, had been the target of vandals since the day it appeared at the entrance to a marina.

(Guess it came with too much baggage.)

Honolulu Lite on Sunday

Take part in Honolulu Lite's own CSI (Criminally Stupid Individuals) "Mystery of the H-3 Dumper." We'll give you the clues needed to solve the case of the man recently seen tossing a mysterious package off a freeway bridge in broad daylight.

Quote Me On This

"No brilliance is required in the law, just common sense and relatively clean fingernails." -- John Mortimer