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Raise a toast
to Kobayashi’s
park plan

Here's a bit of reality for those people wringing their hands and moaning "oh my! oh my!" at City Councilwoman Ann Kobayashi's proposal to sell alcohol at some city parks: It's already happening. Well, sort of. Restaurants and snack bars at city golf courses serve -- brace yourself -- beer. And just feet from Honolulu's biggest park -- Kapiolani Park -- alcohol is served in mass quantities at adjacent Waikiki restaurants and bars. And the kiddies playing in the park don't seem to mind.

Critics of Kobayashi's proposal act like there will be someone selling shots of tequila to parents standing on the sidelines while their children are playing soccer. Please. All she's proposing is to let someone open a restaurant on city property which will be allowed to sell wine and beer with meals. Whoever gets that concession also will provide security and maintenance. A private business makes money and the taxpayers save a bundle. Sounds like something we would be toasting, not trashing.

Now the news ...

They call it puppy love

NEW DELHI (AP) » Two small boys and two girls were married off to four puppies by tribal villagers in the small northern Indian state of Jharkhand to ward off evil.

("They are so adorable and cuddly. Once we get them house-trained, married life will be great," said the puppies.)

Psychic stuff vanishes

SOUTH LAKE TAHOE, Calif. (AP) » A merchant at a psychic fair at Horizon Casino Resort reported a crystal wand and other items stolen from a table that was left unattended for four hours, police said.

("I know this is a psychic fair," the merchant said, "But I really didn't see that coming.")

Prosecutor's bum rap

KEY WEST, Fla. (AP) » A prosecutor who may have had too much to drink thought it would be funny to run naked and hop into a friend's car.

But the car he hopped into was not his friend's, and it was not empty. The woman who was sitting in it called the police, who arrested Albert Tasker, of the Monroe County State Attorney's Office.

(Before the cops arrived, Tasker advised the woman of her right to remain silent and begged her do so.)

Honolulu Lite on Sunday

Colorado professor and self-described Native American Ward Churchill exercises free speech at the University of Hawaii. How about everyone else?

Quote Me On This (Department of Ouch):

"Chevy Chase couldn't ad-lib a fart after a baked bean dinner." -- Johnny Carson

"Madonna is so hairy when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit." -- Joan Rivers

"In real life, Diane Keaton believes in God. But she also believes that the radio works because there are tiny people inside it." -- Woody Allen