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The Little Red-State Hen
saves the day

"Who will help me oust a vile dictator and give the Iraqi people freedom?" asked the Little Red-State Hen.

"Not I," said the French, "He owes us too much money!"

"Not I," said the Germans, "He owes us too much money, too!"

"Not I," said the liberals, "How dare you impose your Western-centric notion that Iraqis prefer freedom and democracy to fear and oppression! Besides, you can't win!"

"Then I will do it myself," said the Little Red-State Hen, and she did.

After she had waged an unprecedented military success, the Little Red-State Hen asked, "Who will help me build a democracy to ensure Iraqis' safety and Iraq's future stability?"

"Not I," said the French, "The Iraqi 'rebels' (from Syria and Iran) will prevail."

"Not I," said the Germans, "This is an illegal war!"

"Not I," said the liberals, "You're destined for failure."

"Then I will do it myself," said the Little Red-State Hen, and she did.

Finally, the Little Red-State Hen asked, "Who will help me protect the Iraqis' right to vote in a free election?"

"Not I," said the French, "The insurgents will stop you!"

"Not I," said the Germans, "There will be a bloodbath in the streets, and nobody at the polls!"

"Not I," said the liberals, "It will be illegitimate!"

"I will!" said the Iraqi citizens, who defied the terrorists and showed up to the polls at risk of death.

And the Little Red-State Hen said, "Then we will do it ourselves." And they did.