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Jihad of the pen

» Honolulu

The call came on a Saturday when, as editors are wont to do, I was popping into the office to catch up on a bit of work. "Oh, I wasn't expecting to get you on a Saturday," the female caller said. Lovely English accent.

"Surprise. Can I help you?"

"Allah be praised, I hope so... You have, in the past, written stories with, shall we say, religious themes, yes?"

"I think they call the genre Holy Action Romance Thriller Soaps."

"In particular, 'Lama on The Lam' and Lama Jey Tsong Khapa."

"I'm done with Buddhist tales for a while, ma'am. Matter of fact, I'd like to get the hell away from religion altogether for the next story."

"Oh, that's too bad ... I was thinking in particular, Lama Jey said that he walked with Muhammed in the spirit realm ... " She cleared her throat. "There are those of us who would like to walk with them."

"'Scuse me?"

"Muslims and Buddhists walking together. Christians, Jews, Hindus too."

"You are Muslim?"

"Yes, your story reminded me of how much Buddha and Muhammed have in common -- their messages of compassion, tolerance and peace."

"Mm. Not exactly the message I've heard from any Muslims lately."

"But there are many, including here in Honolulu. In particular, there is one who was abducted just today, Imam Ibrahim. I have his journal here and can fill in more of the details -- if you would like to tell the story."

"Have you notified HPD or the FBI?"

"They've been notified, but do not yet know of the journal. Or of me."

From her tone of voice, I guessed there were reasons the FBI would want to know her story. Suddenly, I did too.

So it was that I was again putting myself in the running for Stupid Columnist of the Year, hanging around the Thomas Square restroom that night, getting into the back of a gray van in which the lights had been dimmed, allowing myself to be blindfolded and driven around town until I started to feel car-sick and threatened to puke. They stopped, rolled down the windows, and I heard waves breaking on the shore, smelled salty air. It was only then that they removed the blindfold and I met Fatima bin Laden, niece of Osama through one of his Filipina wives.

What follows is based on five hours of taped interviews with her and the journal of the missing imam (which has since been turned over to the FBI). To quote Imam Ibrahim al-Shakr, "may Allah the Most Merciful bless this daawah, this jihad of the pen, this preaching for Islam, the real Islam, not the bastardized abomination of terror and death."