Tokelani in The Tube

The three 7-foot white Hawaiians, wearing nothing but huge shades and loincloths, led Tokelani Green into a a well-disguised cave.

"Hey," the goddess said. "It's dark in here!"

"It's The Tube," one of them said.

She stood there in the dark, afraid to move. She heard other voices, and a quick back-and-forth conversation involving the leader of her three friends, but it was in Hawaiian and she understood only a couple of reverent references to Tokelani.

"At this point, Goddess Tokelani, we must entrust you to the Royal Runners who will lead you down to the Royal Rotunda," the leader said. "You'll be arriving just in time for the royal wedding."

"You speak English and Hawaiian?"

"Mandatory for all Tuber Border Patrol agents."

"Ahhh ..."

"Are you ready?"

"It's still dark."

"Yes, we wondered about that. Here ..."

She felt him strapping something to her head, and suddenly she was seeing in the dark -- except everything had a green tinge to it.

"Night-vision goggles," he said proudly. "U.S. Marine Corps-issued."

In addition to her three friends, there were at least another six or seven men surrounding her. Naked men. Without sunglasses or loincloths.

"This is Captain Holo. He will lead you."

Tall, lean, handsome, he stepped forward, bowed.

"And Lieutenant 'Awiwi will join you."

The lieutenant was a young woman, also tall and lithe, a born runner. She too was without clothes. Except for her Nike running shoes.

"Wouldn't you be more comfortable without those, Goddess?" she said, nodding to Tokelani's jeans and blouse.

She'd been to the nude bach on Maui ... She worked on her body, there was nothing to be ashamed of ... Well, when in The Tube, do what Tubers do ...

Feeling much freer, and still powerful and sexy, Tokelani followed the two, and her mind could hardly keep up with what she was seeing as they passed through a lava tube 20 feet high in places, sometimes only 10, and with a generally smooth floor. Magnificent stalagmites pointed down from the ceiling, wild stalactites grew up from the floor. And beyond the geology, there was this cultured, ordered civilization of people who spoke Hawaiian and looked Hawaiian, except that they were white and had eyes three or four times the size of hers, and they could apparently see in the dark.

Soon they were entering the Royal Rotunda -- roughly the size of Ala Moana Center, she guessed -- and the adulation of Tokelani was beginning.