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Mom sets high standard
for her daughter to follow

When my grandmother was pregnant with my mother in 1916, my grandfather traveled to Korea and bragged to relatives he was going to have a son. He was crestfallen when, after he returned to Hawaii, a daughter was born instead.

As the eldest of 10 children, Mom was like a second mother to her siblings. Grandma depended on her to care for the younger children. When Mom was only 8 years old, she began cooking for the family. After she sliced the meat, she went to Grandma and asked for further instructions, then returned to the kitchen to follow them. She continued to go back and forth until the food was cooked and ready for the table. At age 9, she was taught how to sew and helped Grandma in her tailor shop.

At 15, Mom was an attractive ninth-grader at Kawananakoa Intermediate School. One day, Lionel, a handsome Portuguese boy with long eyelashes, curly hair and a football player's physique, stopped her in the corridor and offered her his ring. That startled her. Why would such a cute boy be interested in her ? After all, she thought, I'm not Portuguese, but a plain, unknown Korean girl from Waimanalo. Nevertheless, she accepted the ring. She wore it everywhere, even displaying it in a family portrait.

Three months went by and Mom and Lionel often passed each other in the hallway. Both were shy. Saying nothing to her, he looked the other way when she glanced at him. There was no contact between them, not even a note. Mom wondered why he had given her the ring. Were they engaged to be married?

One morning, she was in the auditorium and happened to look out the window. There he was, on the grass with a beautiful Portuguese girl, who was moving closer to give him a kiss. Mom couldn't believe her eyes. Had Lionel changed his mind? After three days, she had the answer. Lionel stopped her in the corridor and asked for his ring back. Startled, she returned it. So ended her brief "engagement" to the handsome Portuguese boy. Years later, she learned he'd died from an injury on the University of Hawaii football field.

After being baptized a Roman Catholic by her neighborhood priest, Mom enrolled in nursing classes at St. Francis School. She was so impressed with the nuns, she seriously considered becoming one herself. However, when the Mother Superior asked my grandparents if Mom could be sent to the novitiate on the mainland, they were so frightened, they made her leave the school and discontinue her nursing studies.

In 1940, Mom was introduced to Dad by mutual friends. Of all the men who were interested in her, Mom liked Dad the most because he was Korean and came from a Catholic family, although they were nonpracticing Catholics. However, Dad had no baptismal certificate and was unsure whether he'd been baptized. So, because Mom's parents were Methodists, she and Dad were married by a Korean Methodist minister. The wedding took place at Mom's house in Wahiawa three months after they met. Dad was 31 years old; she was 24. Later, after Dad was conditionally baptized, they renewed their marriage vows before a Catholic priest. They were married for 57 years and had seven children.

Damien Memorial High School hired Mom to be the school's first secretary and registrar. She worked there from 1962, when it opened, to 1978, when she retired. Apparently she was so well liked at Damien that at a surprise banquet in 1976, she received the first Damien de Veuster Award, which has been awarded annually thereafter. In May 2000, Mom received an award as Parish Volunteer of the Year from the bishop.

Now 88 years old, my mother continues to be a positive influence in my life, and I still go to her for help and advice. I can only hope my children feel that same bond with me.

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