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Happy birthday to you
from an envious admirer

As far as I know, Jonah Isa has not found a cure for any known disease. He has not walked on the moon, which is not to say that he won't. And, one can tell just by looking at him, he can't dance worth a darn. So what is the excitement all about? Why are hundreds of people standing about just waiting to see him? The only asset he has that is quite apparent is that he is cute.

Yes, Jonah Isa is cute ... actually, more than cute. He was wheeled down the long hallway off the lobby of the Hale Koa Hotel. He was greeted by many of his admirers, who cried out, "Here comes the Birthday Boy." He looked up from his plush seat in the stroller showing less excitement than Queen Elizabeth II waving to the crowd. His face was classic child: "Oh well, if you must make a fuss over me, go ahead and get it over with." Jonah Isa is 1 year old.

I left him sitting by a table that held one man and at least three pretty girls. He looked up with aplomb if not disdain. Behind this small group of family/admirers was a table loaded with fabric bags in all colors, one for each child who attended the party. Behind the double doors was a planned party, which should bring a smile to any child or adult.

There were literally hundreds of balloons of all shapes and sizes. Each of the tables would seat about a thousand people and in the center was yet another collection of balloons anchored to the table with a blue bear. The tables were as festive as one could imagine with or without Martha Stewart. As one entered the room, to the right were a bunch of large toys ready for assaults by the guests, the smaller ones. Us larger non-guests could only gaze with wonder. Presents were everywhere and, getting out of a white van was, be still my heart, Honolulu Lulu. A clown from Aloha Clowns, Honolulu Lulu is large and colorful and was there to make merry and provide the Birthday Boy and his guests with body paint and balloons and probably songs. I'm not sure, as I have never experienced such a party.

Do I seem depressed over Jonah's birthday bash? Do I seem jealous? Frankly, yes. In a matter of a few days I will jump the huge hurdle from 66 years old to the even larger hurdle of 67. And, as hard as this may be to accept, I have never had a birthday party on such a grand scale.

As a matter of fact, I have had exactly one semi-birthday party in my life and that was in the dead of winter in Greenwich, N.Y., where the Kelly family provided me with a beautiful chocolate cake and a roll of toilet paper on which money was printed. The toilet paper had been printed in the local toilet paper factory in Middle Falls, N.Y. The snow was provided by the clouds, which surround the Adirondack Mountains in the winter.

It was a lovely party, and although there were no real clowns to entertain, you should get to meet some of the Kelly children. It was fun, but would it have killed them to have just one balloon?

So Jonah, you are 1 year of age, cute as a button and loved by everyone who gazes upon your beautiful little face, save one. I shall try to keep a smile on my lips but every time I think of your magnificent first birthday party, I shall regret not being born on this island where a first birthday means so very much.

Now, I wish you the best of everything, Jonah. Happy birthday. And, should you get more than one iPod for your birthday, think of me. I was thinking about getting one of those things. That is, if you or one of your friends can teach me how to turn it on and load it.

But in the meantime, happy birthday, Jonah. Enjoy each year, because you'll soon be as old as me.

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