Hey Tiger,
you’re missing out!

(Can I call you Tiger? You seem like such a nice guy.)

It's a shame you're already leaving us.

There's another golf tournament here this week. The rain is going away and the sun is shining. It's beautiful. It's a perfect time to be starting the Sony Open in Hawaii.

Last week you said you needed to make sure you had enough rest, in order to peak for big events. You mentioned Augusta.

Surely, none of us can fault you for skipping the Sony for reasons like that.

And others have opined that maybe the course at Waialae doesn't quite fit your game, or the practice facilities might not exactly match what you're looking for.

I can't hold your absence against you.

But now the sun is shining again, and Adam Sandler is here, and it's going to be another great Sony Open tournament. So here's just a short note, just to let you know. A postcard, to say, "Wish you were here."

This is a terrific tournament -- it's gone to a playoff the last two years. It features two-time defending champ Ernie Els, who always seems to put on a likable face.

It's got the No. 1 player in the world, Vijay Singh. And Vijay, according to Star-Bulletin sports editor Paul Arnett's dispatches from Maui and the Mercedes Championships (where you tied for third; nice job), is funny this year.

"Singh was working the room like the late, great Rodney Dangerfield," Paul wrote.

I'm sorry, Tiger, but there's no way you can compete with that.

Vijay + Dangerfield comparison = I'm there.

And there's Michelle Wie again, to bring the buzz. She'll have that crowd in a frenzy. You'd better watch out. In about 15 minutes it will be "Michelle Wie's Video Game Golf" or whatever endorsement deal it is that you have.

Tiger, pally, that's three headliners, if you're counting, plus a recent history of heart-stopping finishes.

So it's a good thing I'm writing this note now, before I forget.

It's a strange thing. I said we'd miss you, but I was just being polite. Actually, I haven't yet.

I've been to three Sonys and was thrilled each time. You weren't in any of them. And I didn't spend a second thinking about it. Never even noticed.

This tournament is great whether you show up or not.

You go ahead, take the week off. Peak. We'll be just fine here.

Don't take this the wrong way, though. We'd love to have you.

What was your name again?