Exchanging royal fluids

The thing about the rocky Kona Coast is, it's easy to get into the water, hell to climb out, especially with the surge of waves knocking you around on slippery razor rocks. And the place where international artifact hunter Barge Huntley had seen a 300-foot eel trying to slither into a hole was at the base of a 10-foot lava edge. So like it or not, Barge would be putting the yellow kayak in at that same black sand beach and paddling half a mile -- exposing himself again to the giant eel -- well worth the risk if the cave did indeed hold the bones of Kamehameha, and he survived.

Fueled by Kona beans and adrenaline, blessed with calm seas, Barge made good time and was soon checking the landmarks he'd triangulated yesterday and dropping anchor off the kayak.

At The Tube entrance inside the undersea entrance to the King's Cave, the young Oahu chief Kaneloa said "Did you hear that?"

Something metallic had clinked and clanked off the coral outside.

"Anchor," replied the veteran Tuber Border Patrolman who'd stayed up all night with him, on guard in case the monster mo'o returned. "We get a lot of snorkelers and scuba divers here."

"I think this is the other threat, the Topsider one. The mo'o is coming too."

The young chief seemed so sure of himself, especially for one who had no prior experience defending The Tube. But he had consulted with the bones of Kamehameha, and that was good enough for the Border Patrolman.

"Holy kee-reist!" they heard a male Topsider shout. "It's back!"

"The mo'o!" Kaneloa said, and with a spear dived from The Tube entrance into the sea cave, immediately smelled the eel's hungry breath.

At that moment, Prince To'o the seer was at the Royal Chambers of Queen Tuberosa and King Kavawai, and just beginning to tell them and their daughter Princess Tuberosa La'a of the vision that came to him in the night.

"Of course you recall the story of the Prince Kaneloa," he began.

"Many people share names," the queen interrupted. "Your Kaneloa is still a lowly chief of excrement haulers."

To'o began the famous chant, the one that told of the young chief Kamehameha going fishing with a spear, diving from a canoe and coming up in an undersea cave and coming face to face with three members of the Border Patrol. Kamehameha met King Aha!, then king of the Tubers, and exchanged ha with him. Later he exchanged spit and various other royal fluids with the king's daughter, Princess Lani La'a. Nine months later twins were born, Prince Kaneloa and Princess Pukalani La'a. Sadly, the son of Kaneloa died mysteriously.

"The truth came to me in a vision." As he told it, the queen's mouth dropped in shock, the princess began to cry tears of happiness.