My Kind of Town
Don Chapman

Entrance to what?

» The Tube/Honolulu

The moment that Princess Tuberosa La'a had tossed tuberose petals toward the young chief Kaneloa, the sign that she'd chosen him as her future husband, the captain of the Tuber Border Patrol from the upslope Kipuka hurried to his counterpart with the Royal Runners.

"Send a message to the Kipuka, tell the sargent-in-charge to call Tokelani with news that the royal wedding is imminent," he said.

"I believe that I can predict," the Runner captain said with a wink, "that they will set a speed record -- everyone is anxious for Tokelani to visit!" As in Tokelani, goddess of whoopee, who visited every 100 years and turned everyone into guilt-free love nuts for a weekend.

So it was that Tokelani Green, back in the downtown Honolulu offices of the Pono Commission, got a call on her cell requesting her arrival at "the kipuka entrance" by tomorrow. "That may be pushing it, but I'll see what I can do," she replied. "Can I call you back at this number?"

The male caller said she could. She jotted down the number on the caller ID display. "I'll call when I have a firm time."

Ooh, the sargent thought, she's talking dirty -- and it's working!

Tokelani walked down the hall to legal and confirmed that attorney Jeff Lam would have the land transfer papers drawn up by the end of the day. Then she called Randy Makapu'u, who said yes, if the papers were ready, he wanted to sign them on his new Big Island property tomorrow.

Tokelani called the airline, made reservations for a morning flight to Kona, leaving her's open. She had no idea what to expect from the three 7-foot white Hawaiians, or from their invitation to the royal wedding. And entrance to what? She thought about telling her girlfriend Merri Lee of these odd men, but it sounded so crazy ... She thought about leaving a note, just in case something happened ... But a voice in her heart said to keep those things there and to ponder them, and to trust that voice. Still, she tossed and turned most of the night.

It was going around, apparently. Randy Makapu'u, about to become a major landowner, and having met the most amazing and beautiful Hawaiian woman ever, Pua Makua, Ph.D., was too excited to sleep. In the Big Island, Princess Tuberosa La'a, having committed her heart to Kaneloa, cried herself to sleep and cried every time she woke up. The queen, having forbade her daughter to marry a low chief of excrement haulers, couldn't shake the words of her brother To'o the seer, "the gods have not yet stopped speaking. Do not be too hasty in judging him." Kaneloa, meanwhile, stayed up all night at The Tube entrance, awaiting the great mo'o's return.

Only To'o slept well, receiving a vision that would change history, and right an old wrong.

See the Columnists section for some past articles.

Don Chapman is editor of MidWeek. His serialized novel runs daily in the Star-Bulletin. He can be e-mailed at dchapman@midweek.com

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